Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

Sex-Ed Goes High-Tech

A new online game attempts to teach teens about sex using characters like The Sperminator, Wonder Vag, and Willy the Kid. Yes, really.

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Smells Like Geek Spirit

Sony’s started spraying retail stores with the scents of vanilla, mandarin, and bourbon — and it’s not the only tech giant playing with the power of aroma.

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Internet Explorer 6 Found Brutally Murdered

Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 6 browser has been found brutally murdered, police confirm. The browser had been the target of malicious attacks for years.

Quickies

iToons: Clash of the Smartphone Fanboys

iToons: Clash of the Smartphone Fanboys

Maybe there should be a minimum age requirement in order to become a full-fledged smartphone fanboy.

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Hump Day Hottie: Megan Fox

Is it hot in here or is it just Megan Fox? (That’s a rhetorical question.)

Hump Day Hottie: Gisele Bundchen

Hump Day Hottie: Gisele Bundchen

Gorgeous Gisele goes from worlds hottest supermodel to world’s hottest MILF.

Hump Day Hottie: Heather McComb

Hump Day Hottie: Heather McComb

The former Party of Five hottie can party with us any time she wants (just leave the other four at home)

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

25 Ways to Tell If You’re a Hopeless Geek

Have you gone full dweebtard? Hey, it can happen to the best of us. Take our 25-question true or false quiz to find out.

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

OMG, Twitter’s Found Jesus

A new Web site called Christian Chirp claims to be the Twitter for the God-fearing masses. Here are 20 ways “tweeting for Jesus” is just a bit different.

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

Five More Ways to Avoid Getting Sued on Twitter

The wrong tweets can land you up to your ass in attorneys. Our advice? Avoid Webcam girls, crystal meth, and Julia Allison.

Sex Survey Reveals Americans’ Sauciest Secrets

Sex Survey Reveals Americans’ Sauciest Secrets

Researchers have released the results from America’s biggest sex survey to date — and there are more than a few steamy surprises inside.

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Too Little Too Latex: Government Probes Condom-Free Desires

Try this one on for size: The government is paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to research why men don’t like wearing condoms. Yes, really.

Some Big News About Breasts

Some Big News About Breasts

Something big is happening in the world of breast research. Really big. Super-duper big. Are you ready for this?

The Dark Side of Texting

The Dark Side of Texting

Before you open that next text from your special someone, you may want to read what Dr. Smartass discovered.