Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Six Geeky Products You Won’t Want to Miss

Seems like every tech company is coming out with non-tech products. From Facebook-inspired body spray to Apple’s magical iGlove, here are six hot products you’ll soon be seeing.

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

Yes, TC is apparently for sale, and we’re apparently buying them. Even we can’t keep these things straight.

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

7 Simple Rules of Online Dating

Hooking up with someone online doesn’t have to be difficult. Just follow these seven simple rules, and you’ll be clicking your way to climactic glory.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

My Fungus, My Penis, My Legacy

Every guy likes to think his manhood makes a lasting impression. Now, one man’s willy actually will live on in fame — and he has the fungus among us to thank.

Quickies

Hump Day Hottie: Rima Fakih

Hump Day Hottie: Rima Fakih

Miss USA 2010 knows her way around a stripper’s pole — and that’s just one more reason to love her.

Video: Apple’s New iPhone Bumper in Action

Video: Apple’s New iPhone Bumper in Action

Apple has released a new video promoting its suddenly-high-profile rubber iPhone bumper. Needless to say, this changes everything — again.

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

Hump Day Hottie: Diana Taurasi

WNBA star Diana Taurasi strips down in ESPN’s “Body Issue” 2010 — and once you’ve seen this photo, we suspect she’ll be stripping down in your daydreams, too.

iToons: Why Facebook and the Bedroom Don’t Mix

iToons: Why Facebook and the Bedroom Don’t Mix

Some places just shouldn’t have a “like” button. Trust us.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Sweet China o’ Mine: The Song

Our take on the Google-China saga, set to the tune of Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine.”

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

Who are the sexiest geeks? Here’s your chance to decide. eSarcasm serves up seven of the hottest nerds on Earth. Vote early and often for your faves.

Which of These Pictures Is Not Like the Others?

Which of These Pictures Is Not Like the Others?

Google and Hitachi have launched “similar image” searches that promise to redefine… we’re not sure what. But we messed around with them to see what happened. Prepare to be amazed.

The 3.5-Inch Floppy Disk: An Exit Interview

The 3.5-Inch Floppy Disk: An Exit Interview

In an exclusive interview, the soon-to-be-unemployed 3.5-inch floppy opens up about his past, his future, and the life of sex and drugs that overtook his old colleague 5.25.

Six High Tech Inventions We’d Like to See

Six High Tech Inventions We’d Like to See

Gadgets that let you recognize faces or resolve disputes are so 2009. The real action is in gizmos that provide anal detection, flatulence redirection, and The Groper.

Wikipedia-Flavored Beef and 12 Other Delicious Dishes

Wikipedia-Flavored Beef and 12 Other Delicious Dishes

A Chinese restaurant’s “Wikipedia-flavored” entrée inspired us to cook up some tech-tinged dishes of our own. Care to try the Moo Goo Google or Microsoft Lo Mein For Home Dining?

Your Cheatin’ Art

Your Cheatin’ Art

Want to break a few Commandments? Sites like the Ashley Madison Agency make adultery as easy as 123. But repent, would-be sinners, before you tumble into the pit of Hell.