Fresh Off The Griddle

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Truth in Online Dating: A Translation Guide

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

The Truth About Tech, Sex, and Love

Technology is changing the way we love, lust, and even thrust. Dr. Smartass checks out two saucy new studies to see how our attitudes (and assitudes) are shifting.

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

10 More Cartoon Endorsements We’d Like to See

Microsoft has enlisted the Family Guy crew to help flog Windows 7. But why stop there? Here are 10 more animated spokestoons tech companies should seriously consider.

Chart: The Truth About Twitter’s Traffic

Chart: The Truth About Twitter’s Traffic

Despite reports that Twitter’s traffic is flatlining, a new study says 27 million tweets are being sent every day. So what gives? Here’s a breakdown.

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eSarcasm Spotlight

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

Leak Reveals Apple’s True Attitude Towards Media

We’ve gotten our hands on yet another internal Apple memo dealing with the iPhone 4’s antenna problems and the media. It’s much worse than you think.

Quickies

iToons: If Charlie Sheen Advised Microsoft…

iToons: If Charlie Sheen Advised Microsoft…

If Microsoft got on the drug called Charlie Sheen, tech news these days would be way more bitchin’.

iToons: The Pain of Being an Apple Fanboy

iToons: The Pain of Being an Apple Fanboy

If it’s made by Apple, it must be good — right?

iToons: You Know It’s Time to Quit Twitter When…

iToons: You Know It’s Time to Quit Twitter When…

There’s a point in every tweeter’s life when it’s simply time to move on.

iToons: Hello Playboy App, Goodbye Productivity

iToons: Hello Playboy App, Goodbye Productivity

When you get Playboy’s new iPad app, everyone will know you aren’t really pinching and zooming for the articles.

More Recent Stories

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrade Emotions: A Platform-By-Platform Analysis

Upgrades elicit different emotions for different platforms. This highly scientific chart explains the most common reactions to a new system upgrade from owners of iOS, Android, and Windows devices.

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

The 18 Commandments of the Internet Comment Troll

Internet Comment Trolls, your secrets are out! We’ve uncovered a highly confidential document detailing the rules that guide everything Internet Comment Trolls say and do. An eSarcasm exclusive.

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

NORAD Accidentally Fires on Santa

Air defense command officials say a nuclear missile narrowly avoided taking out Father Christmas this morning as he delivered toys to the children of the Far East. Google may be to blame.

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Five People You Really Don’t Want to See Naked and Yet Here They Are – Naked

Even worse, they’re all guys. Can we do SEO or what?

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Snowden Meets Seuss: Oh, The Places He’ll Go

Where do you go when you’re Edward Snowden? Here’s some advice from the late great Dr. Seuss.


eSarcasm Favorites

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

5 of the World’s Strangest Cell Phones

A flute phone? A cigarette phone? Yeah — there are some weird mobile devices out there. These are five of the oddest we’ve seen.

That Chick From Hanson to Test New Gender-Sensing Technology

That Chick From Hanson to Test New Gender-Sensing Technology

Following a brief hiatus from public life, that chick from Hanson has announced she will take part in a groundbreaking demonstration of new gender-sensing technology.

When Schlongs Go Wrong: Small Penis, Big Problems

When Schlongs Go Wrong: Small Penis, Big Problems

Feeling down? Having a tough time making it through the day? Forget what Dr. Phil says — it might just be because of your dangle.

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Yes, Google’s got a new el jefe. Eric Schmidt has just handed the keys to the chief executive limo to Larry Page. Here’s what Larry’s first day was like. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Top 15 Reasons MySpace Picked That Terrible Logo

Top 15 Reasons MySpace Picked That Terrible Logo

The new MySpace logo may look like a total joke, but that’s probably just because you don’t know the whole story behind it. Behold: the 15 real reasons MySpace went with that godawful design.

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

Apple Bans Itself From App Store

In a never-before-seen move, Apple has just banned itself from its own App Store. “We have determined this company is no longer appropriate,” a notification says.

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

30 Ridiculously Dumb Tech Warning Labels

Tech products have some really stupid disclaimers. Here are 30 of the worst we’ve seen.