michael arrington

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Scientists Discover New Element Based on Michael Arrington, Apologize Profusely Afterwards

Urasium, an ignoble gas based on superheated emissions from the former TechCrunch founder, has become the 116th element in the Periodic Table. A nation of chemists mourn.

BREAKING: Dr. Stanley Dorkus to Join Venture Capital Firm

BREAKING: Dr. Stanley Dorkus to Join Venture Capital Firm

Sex advisor to the stars takes on new role as financial advisor to the startups. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Apple iPad 3 to Feature Angelina Jolie’s Leg

Apple iPad 3 to Feature Angelina Jolie’s Leg

Latest release of miraculous life-changing device will be available in one- and two-leg versions. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Quiz: Are You a Total Tech Douchebag?

Alert! Alert! Tech douchebaggery levels are reaching all-time highs. So how much of a total tech douche are you? Take our highly scientific quiz to find out.

Dan, I Accept Your Resignation

Dan, I Accept Your Resignation

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives.

I’m Leaving eSarcasm. Here’s Why.

I’m Leaving eSarcasm. Here’s Why.

Ask ev’ry person if he’s heard the story, and tell it strong and clear if he has not. That once there was a fleeting wisp of glory called Camelot….

Crunch This: 14 Things We’ll Miss About Michael Arrington

Crunch This: 14 Things We’ll Miss About Michael Arrington

The TechCrunch founder is leaving the ethics-challenged world of Web journalism for the morally flexible world of high-tech finance. Now who are we going to make fun of?

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

It’s pretty simple, really. Want us to write about you? It’s going to cost you. Want us to please not write about you? It’ll cost you more. Welcome to eThics 2.0.

BREAKING: eSarcasm Site Hacked by Anonymous

BREAKING: eSarcasm Site Hacked by Anonymous

On Thursday night eSarcasm’s servers were attacked and compromised by the infamous Internet vigilantes, but we lived to snark on. An exclusive report.

TechCruncher Accuses AOL of Assault, Trial by Satire Commences

TechCruncher Accuses AOL of Assault, Trial by Satire Commences

Why did TechCrunch pull a story about Googler being sexually harrassed? Because AOL’s Tim Armstrong made Michael Arrington do unspeakable things. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Six Truly Terrifying Geek Halloween Costumes

Stuck for a Halloween costume? There’s still time to go as one of these scary geeks. Just don’t blame us if instead of giving you candy they sic the dogs on you.

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Snatch TechCrunch Away From Aol!

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Snatch TechCrunch Away From Aol!

As Aol! edges closer to acquiring the Web’s #1 site for unsubstantiated rumors, a white knight has emerged. Yes, that would be us. Who did you expect, T. Boone Pickens?

Exclusive: The 25 Worst Geek Pickup Lines of All Time

Exclusive: The 25 Worst Geek Pickup Lines of All Time

Not that we would ever try using one one of these. But in case you’re ever tempted, remember: Nobody ever got laid after saying any of these things. Trust us.

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

eSarcasm in Late-Stage Negotiations to Acquire TechCrunch

Yes, TC is apparently for sale, and we’re apparently buying them. Even we can’t keep these things straight.

Google’s Got Balls (and Other Background Art)

Google’s Got Balls (and Other Background Art)

Google gave users the chance to add backgrounds to its classic stark search page. Meet Google as brought to you by Ballmer, Jobs, & some smokin’ hot Swedish twins.

Wanted: The Next Revolutionary Life-Changing Magical Web Tablet

Wanted: The Next Revolutionary Life-Changing Magical Web Tablet

Before long we’ll be up to our armpits in Web tablets. How will anyone be able to tell them apart? Easy. Start by filling out this simple questionnaire.

The TechList: 08.May.2010

The TechList: 08.May.2010

Sarah Palin shows off her thumbs; something naked this way comes

Seattle Citizens Protest Arrival of Michael Arrington

Seattle Citizens Protest Arrival of Michael Arrington

Thousands of protesters filled downtown Seattle today in an attempt to keep the bad boy of TechCrunch from moving to their rainy, highly caffienated city.