Even More Recent Stories

eSarcasm stories are like oral sex: You just can't get enough. Here are more stories we hope will deeply satisfy.

Ten Celebrities We’d Like to See Become Pope

Ten Celebrities We’d Like to See Become Pope

As the Vatican ponders who will succeed Pope Benedict XVI, please allow us to make a few suggestions.

Apple Patents New Microslut Antennas

Apple Patents New Microslut Antennas

Ground-breaking technology may enable iPhone users to locate nearby floozies within a three-mile radius, or extremely small hussies at great distances. Only on eSarcasm.

Top 10 Ways to Tell if You’ve Been Hacked by the Chinese

Top 10 Ways to Tell if You’ve Been Hacked by the Chinese

For the last four months The New York Times has been infiltrated by Chinese hackers. It could happen to you, too. Here are the top 10 signs you’ve been hacked. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Word of the Year for 2012: Twatwaffle

Word of the Year for 2012: Twatwaffle

Forget hashtag, GIF, YOLO, or any other pretenders. 2012 was clearly the year of the twatwaffle.

Biggest Douchebags of 2012

Biggest Douchebags of 2012

It’s been a year rich with D-baggery. We’ve got the goods on the biggest, baddest, and douchiest of the year. An eSarcasm exclusive.

eSarcasm LLC acquired by Google for $400 million

eSarcasm LLC acquired by Google for $400 million

Purchase of beloved humor site by ad and search giant delights and surprises co-founders, worries and confuses everyone else.

US Issues New Guidelines for Republican Self Deportation

US Issues New Guidelines for Republican Self Deportation

Following President Obama’s re-election, US officials are offering an easy way for grief-stricken Romney supporters to leave the country. An eSarcasm exclusive.

National Poll Reveals Pollsters Split Evenly Between ‘Don’t Know’ and ‘None of the Above’

National Poll Reveals Pollsters Split Evenly Between ‘Don’t Know’ and ‘None of the Above’

We just conducted the first-ever national poll of national pollsters. Here’s what those nosy bastards really think. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Internet Asks Romney and Obama for Help Generating Memes

Internet Asks Romney and Obama for Help Generating Memes

Worldwide network pleads with candidates to release their next debate gaffes and ‘zingers’ early, so it will have time to prepare. An eSarcasm exclusive.

INFOGRAPHIC: How People Really Spend Their Time on the Net

INFOGRAPHIC: How People Really Spend Their Time on the Net

What do people really do when they go online? You might be very surprised. Or you might already know. In either case, check out this cool infographic, dammit. An eSarcasm nonexclusive.

Presidential Polling Data Undersamples Aliens and Unicorns, Amateur Pollster Reveals

Presidential Polling Data Undersamples Aliens and Unicorns, Amateur Pollster Reveals

Unscrewed Polls tells the real story of the 2012 presidential race, free from statistical bias. Guess what? The Republicans are winning big with invisible beasts and extraterrestrials.