Inside eSarcasm

Complaints

At eSarcasm, we take your complaints very seriously.* If we’ve offended you in any way, we’d like to know about it. To help us better serve you in the future, please print and fill out the following short form and submit it via the instructions below.

1. Title(s) of offending article(s)/comment(s)/image(s): ____________________________

2. URL(s) of offending article(s)/comment(s)/image(s): ____________________________

3. My complaint concerns the following (select as many as may apply):

    a. Offensive language
    b. Offensive statements or opinions
    c. Offensive images
    d. Copyright violation(s)
    e. Trademark infrigement
    f. Libelous or defamatory statements
    f. Contributing to the delinquency of a minor
    g. Lame alphabetizing
    g. The design displeaseth
    h. It’s just not funny

4. What is the exact nature of your complaint? Please be specific and provide as much detail as possible in the box below.

5. Please complete the following statement. As a result of encountering the offending article(s)/comment(s)/image(s), I

    a. Found Jesus
    b. Lost Jesus, but later located Him with my GPS
    c. Suffered grievous bodily harm
    d. Dropped acid, joined a commune, and stopped eating meat
    e. Endured painful rectal itch
    f. Elected to undergo gender reassignment surgery
    g. Was mildly irritated, but later went on to have a life
    h. Other ___.

6. What is your profession?

    a. Public relations
    b. Corrections officer
    c. Clergy
    d. High school guidance counselor
    e. Life coach (i.e. unemployed)
    f. Other ____.

Thank you for taking the time to complete our form. To submit your complaint, please print a copy, have it notarized, and fax it to our attorneys, Bideme & Blomee LLP, at 626-207-5412. (Note: Un-notarized submissions will not be accepted. Submission must be handwritten with 0.7mm fine-point black ink to be processed.) You may also mail complaints to eSarcasm, care of the Arthur T. Flotheimer Institute for the Mentally Unsound. Please include three copies of each complaint on different colored sheets of paper as well as a phone number where we may contact you at some ungodly hour in the middle of the night.

* Well, as seriously as we take anything else.