Why anyone would want the image of a wily wizard-boy on his wang is beyond us.

A new virtual-reality video game promises to help you practice saying no to sex. Wait a minute — what?!

A new study says Apple-lovers score more tail than the Android-carrying crowd. After much intensive research, eSarcasm has discovered the real reasons why.

Yeah, yeah, we know. Google’s got it goin’ on. Before you hop on to ride the Big G’s big index, though, you may want to read this.

Something big is happening in the world of breast research. Really big. Super-duper big. Are you ready for this?

Do you have a dirty mind? If you interpret these seemingly innocent news headlines the same way we did, the answer is probably yes.

Google isn’t showing the love for cougars — and we aren’t talking about the four-legged cats. eSarcasm investigates.

Screw screwing: These days, all it takes is a couple of ill-fated clicks to get creepy, crawly crabs in your you-know-what. No, we aren’t kidding.

A new study concludes that being forced to hang around gorgeous women does bad things to men. Where can we sign up for one of those studies?