This just in: Google has actually toyed with the idea of making a Google-branded condom (yes, seriously). Here are 20 slogans that could appear on the gRubber wrappers.

The Anthony Weiner scandal is making news funnier than ever. Here are 34 double entendre-filled headlines that definitely measure up.

It sounds like a lonely geek’s dream, but the newly unveiled Internet make-out machine isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. An eSarcasm exclusive investigation.

Today’s trending Twitter topic: The hashtag #bootycallrules. Yes, there are strict rules for this sort of thing — and you better memorize them if you ever want to hit that.

Been burned by Match.com? Is eHarmony a bit out of tune? Let our guide help you figure out the right way to read those lonely hearts ads.

Not that we would ever try using one one of these. But in case you’re ever tempted, remember: Nobody ever got laid after saying any of these things. Trust us.

They may sound filthy, but ferrethandjobs.com and penisland.net are perfectly innocent sites. Here are 15 of the Web’s most accidentally vulgar addresses.

You can now earn Foursquare badges for getting STD tests, so why stop there? eSarcasm is proud to offer a new line of Foursquare sex badges, including the SlutScout and the Back Door Master.

Why anyone would want the image of a wily wizard-boy on his wang is beyond us.