It’s pretty simple, really. Want us to write about you? It’s going to cost you. Want us to please not write about you? It’ll cost you more. Welcome to eThics 2.0.

No joke: Google has classified eSarcasm as ‘adult content’ and is threatening to pull all of our AdSense ads. We cannot begin to tell you how sorry we are about that.

Which country has the spongiest funbags and meatiest mantoys? It’s no longer a mystery, thanks to the miracle of modern mapping.

Snuggle up to your screen and get ready to unleash all sorts of shenanigans with these 15 high-tech office pranks. Our apologies in advance to your friends and co-workers.

eSarcasm’s new gadget reviewer, who happens to be a lobster, spent some time with the iPad 2 — and he wasn’t at all happy with what he found.

Warner Bros has fired Charlie Sheen from “Two and a Half Men.” We’d love it if you worked for us, Chuck. Here are 13 excellent reasons why you should consider our offer.

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Of course, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. And many of them are on Quora, the newest social media darling. What the frak is Quora? Don’t ask us.

So MySpace is for sale, eh? No worries, Rupe — we’d be happy to take it off your hands. Somebody’s got to think about all those homeless strippers.

Apple’s magical and revolutionary Verizon iPhone is here — and the world will never be the same. Don’t believe us? Check out this list of the ways Apple’s latest gift will forever alter our lives.

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.