Rants In Our Pants

Whatever comes into our pointy little heads. Unfair. Unbalanced. Also unkempt.

EXCLUSIVE: Top 10 Signs the Apocalypse Is Upon Us

EXCLUSIVE: Top 10 Signs the Apocalypse Is Upon Us

The center cannot hold, mere anarchy has been loosed, and rude beasts slouch toward Bethlehem. It’s either Judgment Day or a Motley Crue concert. Here are ten signs that Armageddon is nigh.

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

eSarcasm Unveils Groundbreaking New Ethics Policy

It’s pretty simple, really. Want us to write about you? It’s going to cost you. Want us to please not write about you? It’ll cost you more. Welcome to eThics 2.0.

Yes, It’s True, We Are Depraved Sex Fiends

Yes, It’s True, We Are Depraved Sex Fiends

No joke: Google has classified eSarcasm as ‘adult content’ and is threatening to pull all of our AdSense ads. We cannot begin to tell you how sorry we are about that.

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Penises vs. Breasts: There’s a Map for That

Which country has the spongiest funbags and meatiest mantoys? It’s no longer a mystery, thanks to the miracle of modern mapping.

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

15 Office Pranks For Geeks With Gusto

Snuggle up to your screen and get ready to unleash all sorts of shenanigans with these 15 high-tech office pranks. Our apologies in advance to your friends and co-workers.

Apple’s iPad 2, Reviewed By a Lobster

Apple’s iPad 2, Reviewed By a Lobster

eSarcasm’s new gadget reviewer, who happens to be a lobster, spent some time with the iPad 2 — and he wasn’t at all happy with what he found.

13 Reasons Why Charlie Sheen Should Work Here

13 Reasons Why Charlie Sheen Should Work Here

Warner Bros has fired Charlie Sheen from “Two and a Half Men.” We’d love it if you worked for us, Chuck. Here are 13 excellent reasons why you should consider our offer.

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Are You Smarter Than a Tea Partier?

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

The 10 Dumbest Questions People Ask on Quora

The 10 Dumbest Questions People Ask on Quora

Of course, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. And many of them are on Quora, the newest social media darling. What the frak is Quora? Don’t ask us.

Memo to Murdoch: We Will Buy MySpace

Memo to Murdoch: We Will Buy MySpace

So MySpace is for sale, eh? No worries, Rupe — we’d be happy to take it off your hands. Somebody’s got to think about all those homeless strippers.

How the Verizon iPhone Will Change the World

How the Verizon iPhone Will Change the World

Apple’s magical and revolutionary Verizon iPhone is here — and the world will never be the same. Don’t believe us? Check out this list of the ways Apple’s latest gift will forever alter our lives.

   
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