Extra, extra, read all about it. Apple and News Corp have finally unveiled the first ‘newspaper’ for the iPad. Here are ten things they won’t tell you about it.

Just take this quiz and find out. Don’t worry, there are only 8 questions and they’re all multiple choice. Also: If you don’t, the terror — err, socialists — will win. An eSarcasm exclusive.

The Facebook phone may be a no-go, but another social network is building its own device. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Myspace phone.

Christened ‘Gracebook,’ the holy social network plans to bring Facebook to its knees. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Following the implementation of tamper-resistant screws on its products, Apple will begin installing electric fences on iPhones to prevent users from opening the cases.

Of course, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. And many of them are on Quora, the newest social media darling. What the frak is Quora? Don’t ask us.

So MySpace is for sale, eh? No worries, Rupe — we’d be happy to take it off your hands. Somebody’s got to think about all those homeless strippers.

Today’s trending Twitter topic: The hashtag #bootycallrules. Yes, there are strict rules for this sort of thing — and you better memorize them if you ever want to hit that.

From spying squirrels to bomb-sniffing bees, animals have served some unusual roles in military operations. Here are the five of the strangest attempted army-animal combinations.

Microsoft’s ready to take the set-top market by storm — or at least by gentle rainshower. Here’s a sneak peek at the company’s exciting new Windows TV device.

Ever wonder what tech celebs print in their personal Christmas cards? Well, today’s your lucky day: We’ve gotten our hands on holiday greetings from Jobs, Ballmer, and 7 other famous geeks.