Alternate Reality

These stories are not (entirely) true. They are, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Making Ashtons of Themselves: More Celebrity Twitter Apps

Making Ashtons of Themselves: More Celebrity Twitter Apps

Now that Ashton Kutcher has his own Twitter client, you know everyone else is going to want one too. Brace yourself for celebrity Twitter apps from Arnold Schwarzenner, Charlie Sheen, Steve Jobs, and more.

Apple: Mac Malware Isn’t a Problem — It’s a Feature

Apple: Mac Malware Isn’t a Problem — It’s a Feature

Apple’s Mac malware vulnerability is a “beautiful” part of the product, Jobs claims, and anyone who has a problem is clearly just using their computer wrong. An eSarcasm exclusive.

God Apologizes for Missing the Rapture, Blames Microsoft Outlook

God Apologizes for Missing the Rapture, Blames Microsoft Outlook

Everlasting Father says a software glitch caused Him to miss Judgment Day, leaving thousands stuck here on Earth. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Our Bucket List: 28 Things We Plan to Do Before the World Ends

Our Bucket List: 28 Things We Plan to Do Before the World Ends

On May 21, aka Judgment Day, the world will be over. So we’re making a bucket list and checking it twice. Here’s what we hope to accomplish before we are damned for all eternity.

BREAKING: Top 10 Reasons Why Microsoft Bought Skype

BREAKING: Top 10 Reasons Why Microsoft Bought Skype

Microsoft just bought Skype for a cool $8.5 billion. What would Redmond want with eBay’s neglected video/chat stepchild? We have a few ideas.

SlutWalk 2011 Organizer Plans One Million Slut March

SlutWalk 2011 Organizer Plans One Million Slut March

Across America women are taking to the streets wearing next to nothing to embrace their inner slut. Meet the man behind the movement, Dick Gozinya. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Bin Laden Finds Afterlife Less Pleasant Than Anticipated

Bin Laden Finds Afterlife Less Pleasant Than Anticipated

Speaking from beyond the grave, the former al Qaeda leader expressed disappointment with his martyr’s paradise. Also: It’s a lot hotter than he expected.

PHOTOS: The White iPhone Is Here!

PHOTOS: The White iPhone Is Here!

Now that the iPhone is finally white, maybe people will stop demanding to see its long-form birth certificate. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Leaked Secrets From the Steve Jobs Biography

Leaked Secrets From the Steve Jobs Biography

Steve Jobs is working on his first official biography, and only eSarcasm has a sneak peek at the shocking secrets the book will reveal.

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Inside Larry Page’s First Day as Google CEO

Yes, Google’s got a new el jefe. Eric Schmidt has just handed the keys to the chief executive limo to Larry Page. Here’s what Larry’s first day was like. An eSarcasm exclusive.

BREAKING: eSarcasm Site Hacked by Anonymous

BREAKING: eSarcasm Site Hacked by Anonymous

On Thursday night eSarcasm’s servers were attacked and compromised by the infamous Internet vigilantes, but we lived to snark on. An exclusive report.

   
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