Alternate Reality

These stories are not (entirely) true. They are, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

eSarcasm to Join Anti-SOPA Blackout

eSarcasm to Join Anti-SOPA Blackout

On January 18, eSarcasm will go dark for 12 hours to protest SOPA and PIPA, two anti-piracy laws we don’t fully understand but know are really bad. Are we cool, or what?

What Will Apple Reveal at Its Next Special Event?

What Will Apple Reveal at Its Next Special Event?

Yes, we know — you’re all dying to find out what Apple will unveil at its special “education” event next week. We have a few well-educated guesses. Think iChalk, re-education camps, and naughty schoolgirls.

EXCLUSIVE: 12 Amazing Predictions for 2012

EXCLUSIVE: 12 Amazing Predictions for 2012

The following predictions are absolutely positively guaranteed to come true in 2012 or we’ll return your money for a full refund. Would we lie to you?

EXCLUSIVE: The Best New Words of 2011

EXCLUSIVE: The Best New Words of 2011

Ever heard of Girthquake, Facebork, or Blowjobbulation? You will soon. Here are two dozen of the most notable words introduced this year.

Geico Gecko Throws His Tail Into the GOP Race

Geico Gecko Throws His Tail Into the GOP Race

Popular auto insurance pitch-lizard believes if people will vote for a Newt, surely they will vote for a Gecko. Yet another eSarcasm exclusive.

Herman Cain’s Top 10 Pickup Lines

Herman Cain’s Top 10 Pickup Lines

It turns out the Godfather of GOP hopefuls makes Bill Clinton look like the 40-year-old virgin. Here are his most effective seduction secrets. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Fence Post Re-Emerges as GOP Frontrunner

Fence Post Re-Emerges as GOP Frontrunner

Iowa land barrier I. M. Post is now neck and neck with Mitt, Newt, and the Gecko in race for GOP crown. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Adobe Flash Funeral Marred by Apple Protestors

Adobe Flash Funeral Marred by Apple Protestors

Carrying signs and hurling insults, members of the West Cupertino Applest Church protested at a ceremony honoring the memory of Adobe Flash. An eSarcasm exclusive.

eSarcasm Sues Author of ‘Steve Jobs’ Biography

eSarcasm Sues Author of ‘Steve Jobs’ Biography

Beloved satirical site claims Walter Isaacson used its content without permission and is demanding a split of the profits. Also: We want Ben Affleck and Matt Damon to play us in the movie. An eSarcasm exclusive.

The Shocking Truth About Sesame Street Porn

The Shocking Truth About Sesame Street Porn

Think that porn showing up on Sesame Street’s YouTube channel was an accident? Think again. Sesame Street is really Sexame Street. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Faster-Than-Light Neutrinos Accused of Cheating

Faster-Than-Light Neutrinos Accused of Cheating

Einstein’s Theory of Relatively appears to be safe, now that officials have accused the world’s fastest sub-atomic particles of proton doping. An eSarcasm exclusive.

   
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