Alternate Reality

These stories are not (entirely) true. They are, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Internet Doomsday Strikes; Billions Thrown Offline

Internet Doomsday Strikes; Billions Thrown Offline

The DNSchanger malware completely destroyed the 43-year-old network, leaving millions of Facebook and Twitter users with nothing to do all fucking day. An eSarcasm special report.

Apple Files Lawsuit Against iCarly, Orders All Children to Repent

Apple Files Lawsuit Against iCarly, Orders All Children to Repent

Apple is suing the fictional Nickelodeon star, claiming irreparable damages to its brand and business model. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Julian Assange Seeks Political Asylum in Banana Republic

Julian Assange Seeks Political Asylum in Banana Republic

Clothing chain expresses puzzlement at request but says it will consider granting asylum to WikiLeaks founder after its Storewide Summer Clearance Sale is over.

Facebook’s IPO Flop Brings Employees to the Brink of Poverty

Facebook’s IPO Flop Brings Employees to the Brink of Poverty

Facebook’s stock market faceplant last month has shattered the dreams of Simon Wainmaring and thousands of other Facebook employees just like him. An eSarcasm special report.

BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg Abandons US, Becomes Swiss Citizen

BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg Abandons US, Becomes Swiss Citizen

The Facebook billionaire has renounced his United States citizenship just days before an IPO that will make him one of the richest humans on the planet. An eSarcasm special report.

Geico Gecko Drops Bid for Republican Nomination

Geico Gecko Drops Bid for Republican Nomination

In a tearful farewell, the lovable pitch lizard suspends his presidential campaign but vows to continue the fight for lower auto insurance. Only on eSarcasm.

Google’s New Goggles Reveal More Than You Think

Google’s New Goggles Reveal More Than You Think

Google’s “Project Glass” high-tech specs augment reality in ways even Google won’t talk about. Here’s the real story behind them. An eSarcasm original.

eSarcasm to Relaunch as Web Pharmacy

eSarcasm to Relaunch as Web Pharmacy

Award-winning site abandons geek humor for Viagra sales. An eSarcRx exclusive.

New Study Reveals More Than 50% of Internet Users Are Assholes

New Study Reveals More Than 50% of Internet Users Are Assholes

Research by the Phew Group indicates that the majority of Netizens are jerks, dickwads, or total flaming assholes. An eSarcasm exclusive.

McNewt Romtorich Sweeps the South!

McNewt Romtorich Sweeps the South!

Genetically engineered compromise candidate captures more than 90 percent of the vote in Alabama, Mississippi, and Hawaii. An eSarcasm exclusive.

Republicans to Clone Compromise Candidate

Republicans to Clone Compromise Candidate

Using genetic engineering, the GOP plans to combine the best features of its presidential candidates to defeat Obama in November. Meet the next president of these United States, McNewt Romtorich.

   
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