10 Reasons Why Apple’s Chinese Sweatshops Are Totally Awesome

Think iPads and iPhones are built by an army of virtual slaves? Think again. Apple’s FoxConn facility is a veritable worker’s paradise. An exclusive eSarcasm investigative report.
Apple is taking a lot of grief for building its insanely profitable iPhone and iPad franchises on the backs of 700,000 allegely mistreated Chinese factory workers. New Apple CEO Tim Cook calls these charges “patently false and offensive.” Are Apple’s miraculous life-changing devices really built by an army of virtual slaves? To find out, eSarcasm conducted an exclusive interview with Hua Suk Wang, employee e...[Read more]

Geico Gecko Denies Open Marriage Allegations

GOP presidential hopeful denies charges he requested an open marriage arrangement with a former spouse, accuses media of being anti-reptile.

Internet Blackout Causes Widespread Panic, Looting, Porn Withdrawals

Large parts of the InterWebs went dark yesterday, leading to a complete (if temporary) breakdown of Western Civilization. An eSarcasm exclusive report.

eSarcasm to Join Anti-SOPA Blackout

On January 18, eSarcasm will go dark for 12 hours to protest SOPA and PIPA, two anti-piracy laws we don’t fully understand but know are really bad. Are we cool, or what?

What Will Apple Reveal at Its Next Special Event?

Yes, we know — you’re all dying to find out what Apple will unveil at its special “education” event next week. We have a few well-educated guesses. Think iChalk, re-education camps, and naughty schoolgirls.

EXCLUSIVE: 12 Amazing Predictions for 2012

The following predictions are absolutely positively guaranteed to come true in 2012 or we’ll return your money for a full refund. Would we lie to you?

Santa Claus Denies Sexual Harassment Allegations

Beloved children’s icon vehemently denies charges that he forced elves to sit on his lap and spread their Christmas cheer. An exclusive report.

EXCLUSIVE: The Best New Words of 2011

Ever heard of Girthquake, Facebork, or Blowjobbulation? You will soon. Here are two dozen of the most notable words introduced this year.

Geico Gecko Throws His Tail Into the GOP Race

Popular auto insurance pitch-lizard believes if people will vote for a Newt, surely they will vote for a Gecko. Yet another eSarcasm exclusive.

Herman Cain’s Top 10 Pickup Lines

It turns out the Godfather of GOP hopefuls makes Bill Clinton look like the 40-year-old virgin. Here are his most effective seduction secrets. An eSarcasm exclusive.

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