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The Hottest Geeks on the Planet

Who are the sexiest geeks? Here’s your chance to decide. eSarcasm serves up seven of the hottest nerds on Earth. Vote early and often for your faves.

By (@tynanwrites)

January 4, 2010

marina orlova hot for wordsIn one of our favorite traditions, Wired’s Underwire blog is holding its poll for the world’s sexiest geeks. As we write this, 2007′s winner and our personal fave Marina Orlova (right) is holding her own. (Coincidentally, so are we — but that’s another matter.)

Voting closes in just a few hours, so hurry on over and cast yours. And yes, JR is in the running, though he appears to be trailing Jasper WebVomit and several plus-sized drag queens.

We figured, WTF. Anything Wired can do we can do too, in our own sloppy ass inimitable fashion. And there are certainly plenty of other totally smokin’ hotties in geekdom who’ve gotten insufficient attention from those iPhone-worshipping, candy-ass Wired readers.

Forthwith, we present your choices for the Hottest Geeks on the Planet (i.e., Earth). Please vote for your favorites in the comments field below.

robert scoble nude -- ewww

Robert Scoble
Scobleizer

Isn’t that Philip Seymour Hoffman after a bad night at the baths? No, that’s social-media-doyenne-on-steroids Robert Scoble, doing what he does best (self promoting), though not necessarily what he does best while nude. Even we don’t dare go there.

Source: Flickr PHANTOM TEXT BECAUSE THE IMAGES AND SUBHEDS REFUSE TO LINE UP

Hot Chick In Pink Panties

Hot Web Chick
On the Web (duh)

Technically, this woman is not part of our ‘hottest geek’ contest. We don’t even know her real name, though we’re pretty sure she’s not a geek. We just thought you’d need something to help erase the memory of that Scoble photo.

Source: Sex Directory USA

sergey brin in drag

Sergey Brin
Google

The Googillionaire shows his more feminine side in this 1996 photo taken during a confused period in his/her life. Not to worry, though — Sergey/Sergalina can offer at least 12 billion reasons why he/she is the sexiest geek alive.

Source: Stanford Infolab PHANTOM TEXT BECAUSE THE IMAGES AND SUBHEDS REFUSE TO LINE UP

Julia Allison Meghan Asha Michael Arrington Techcrunch 2

Michael Arrington
TechCrunch

Yes, it’s good old Cap’n Mike, looking even more doughy and racoon-eyed than usual. When “Web celebrity” Julia Allison and “tech addict” Meghan Asha are adhered to your cheeks like ticks on a bloodhound, you must be hot, right? That, or within ten feet of a camera.

Source: Julia Allison blog PHANTOM TEXT BECAUSE THE IMAGES AND SUBHEDS REFUSE TO LINE UP

chris-pirillo-nude

Chris Pirillo
Lockergnome

This obsessive Twitterer/blogger/YouTuber apparently likes to go bare ass in Alaska, giving him at least one thing in common with Levi Johnston. As to his hidden assets, don’t worry ladies — we understand Chris has unusually large hands.*

Source: Garry Conn’s money blog PHANTOM TEXT BECAUSE THE IMAGES AND SUBHEDS REFUSE TO LINE UP

4chan's moot (chris poole)

Moot
4Chan

AKA Christopher Poole. The public face of the worlds scariest most popular anonymous image board is the odds-on favorite to win our contest — because if he really wants to win this sucker, there’s really no way to stop him. Memo to his 4Chan friends: Please don’t hurt us.

Source: Flickr PHANTOM TEXT BECAUSE THE IMAGES AND SUBHEDS REFUSE TO LINE UP

doc smartass

Doc Smartass
eSarcasm

Yes, our very own doctor (of divinity) is easily one of the hottest geeks around. Also: If we didn’t nominate him, he threatened to perform involuntary colonoscopies on the entire eSarcasm staff. The good news? The restraining order has finally been lifted so he can start giving health lectures at public schools again.

Source: Us. Who else?

* Yes, we have used that joke before, thanks for noticing.






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Comments

  • http://www.meaganvanburkleo.com/ Meagan

    How the fuck am I a plus sized drag queen? Wow. That was kind of a low blow.

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      you are totally right. our apologies. we've changed that link.

  • robinbectel

    SOOOO much better than Wired's. Aren't beauty contests a bit passe? If not, they really should be.

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      absolutely. also the chicks that win those kinds of things never return our calls.

  • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

    absolutely. also the chicks that win those kinds of things never return our calls.

  • Guest

    Lol…. awesome blog