Alternate Reality

TMZ Publishes Fake Photo of JFK, Naked Babes

Gossip site says nix those prez pix, they’re just trix. eSarcasm discovers several faked photos of its own.

By (@tynanwrites)

December 29, 2009

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

jfk yacht tmz playboy smoking gun pixAfter an investigation by The Smoking Gun, Hollywood gossip site TMZ has admitted “The JFK Photo That Could Have Changed History” it published earlier this week was in fact bogus.

The photo (top right) shows what appears to be a young John Fitzgerald Kennedy enjoying a pleasant afternoon on a yacht in the presence of several naked babes with world-class yahvo’s. According to TMZ, photo forensic experts determined the picture was genuine and taken in August 1956. TMZ claimed that if the picture had been made public at that time, it could have ended Kennedy’s bid for the presidency in 1960.

As the Smoking Gun reported, that picture is from a 1967 photo spread in Playboy magazine (bottom right) and “JFK” is in fact a male model.

(Our interpretation: This is shocking evidence Kennedy survived the assassination attempt in November 1963 and went on to lead a pretty fucking great life, as documented by Playboy magazine. But that’s just us.)

After TMZ’s fake photo was discovered, eSarcasm’s editorial review board ordered an exhaustive review of all photos published on this site and our company blog, whereupon it discovered the following anomalies:

snoop dogg esarcasm party small

eSarcasm has learned that the photo of Snoop Dogg performing at eSarcasm’s annual holiday party, published on our company blog, is a fake. The man in the picture is not the actual Snoop Dogg, though Doc Smartass reports he did score some killer weed off the dude and the guy said “fo shizzle” an awful lot.

jobs iliver small

The organ featured in the photo at right is not Steve Jobs’ new iLiver, as we reported last June. This liver was removed from a factory worker at Apple’s FoxConn manufacturing facilities in China for demonstration purposes only. It was later returned to his family.

carol bartz yahoo tits

Contrary to a TechList item dated 20 October 2009, these are not Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz’s actual breasts (left), though parties who claim familiarity with her funbags report that they are an amazingly lifelike simulation.

ballmer ass small

However, the image of Steve Ballmer did in fact appear on the ass of this, umm, ass, as reported last September (right). The Microsoft CEO’s face also appeared on the wall of our offices, within the lining of a old shroud hanging in our broom closet, and on several tortillas. We’re not exactly sure what to make of that, but we’re totally freaked out.

“We’re not happy about these things, but that’s how it sometimes goes in faux journalism,” says site co-co-founder JR Raphael. “Sometimes even fake reporters can be duped.”

JFK Yacht Babes pix courtesy TMZ, Smoking Gun.

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