You’ll Find Them on Craigslist
Sung to the tune of “I’ve got a little list” from The Mikado. (With profuse apologies to the memory of W. S. Gilbert.)
There’s the hooker with the harelip and the harlot with a lisp
You’ll find them on Craigslist
You’ll find them on Craigslist
A virtual managerie of societal misfits
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
All those lonely hearts and losers who’ve never once been kissed
All those threesome-seeking boozers who are hungry for a tryst
And other casual encounters you’ll surely want to miss
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
Those transgender transvestites who ride Harleys and smoke crack
All the blind dates that you slept with but never wanted to ask back
For ugly, strange, or treacherous this service does not lack
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
There’s the madam who’s named Adam and the masseuse with a beard
Say, that $40 escort’s even worse than what you’d feared
And the “kink” discussion forum — boy does that get fucking weird
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
You’ll find them all on Craigslist
No wonder cops are meddling in the flesh that Craig’s been peddling
From garage sales and used baby prams, to whores and Nigerian email scams
From each disease venereal, to the state attorneys general
You will find them all on Craigslist
You will find them all on Craigslist









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