The Dirty Dozen: 12 Preposterous Product Names
Care for a Portable Penetrator, or perhaps some Jussipussi with a scoop of CreaMass? Yeah…we couldn’t make this shit up if we tried.
Honey, could you grab my Portable Penetrator, then come munch on my Jussipussi for a while? You can finish with the Squeez N Caulk later; the Hand Job gloves will wait. I have some Vergina in here.
The preceding paragraph, believe it or not, was not at all dirty — at least, not by design. You see, we tracked down 12 of the funniest (nonsexual) product names we could find. They’re all legit, and they’re all hilarious.
And these are just the start: When you’re finished here, click over to “20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names.” There, you can check out the Beaver Cleaners, the Young Dong Restaurant, and 18 other unintentionally amusing gems.
The 12 Funniest Product Names
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I always carry one in my pants.
2. Vergina Beer
It’s slightly bitter at first, but you get used to the taste.
High in sodium, but only five calories per teaspoon.
Goes great with the soup!
5. CreaMass
Is it wrong to point out that guys frequently enjoy this in gym locker rooms?
6. Wack Off!
Careful; the spray can shoot pretty far.
7. Jussipussi
Jussipussi…always finger-lickin’ good.
8. Megapussi
Hey, sometimes Jussi alone isn’t enough.
You just know there’s going to be a cream-filled center at the end.
10. Squeez N Caulk
Try it by yourself or with a friend!
11. Hand Job gloves
For use with the Squeez N Caulk, of course.
12. Baldanis
Described as being “dry and rough to the taste.” Yeah, that seems about right.
Ready for more ridiculous name entertainment? Up next is “20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names”, and then “What the Frak: When Acronyms Attack.”
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