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20 Funny (and Unfortunate) Company Names

From Beaver Cleaners to the Young Dong Restaurant, these unfortunate company names seem too funny to be true. We swear, though: They’re all 100 percent real.

By (@JRRaphael)

December 17, 2009

What’s in a name? A lot — especially when it comes to business. A name can help make a company successful. It can also help make it the laughing stock of the world.

The following are 20 of the funniest company names we’ve ever seen, each for its own wildly inappropriate reason. We could be wrong, but we’re guessing most of the humor is completely unintentional, which makes it all the more delightful.

For even more dirty names that’ll make you double over with laughter, click over to “The Dirty Dozen: 12 Preposterous Product Names” next. There, you’ll find Jussipussi, CreaMass, and 10 other products we couldn’t make up if we tried.

The 20 Funniest Company Names

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1. Beaver Cleaners

Hey, sometimes those things need a good wash.

Funny Company Names: Beaver Cleaners

2. Pump N Munch

It’s a full-service kind of joint.

Funny Company Names: Pump N Munch

3. Kum & Go

For the man who doesn’t have time for the full Pump N Munch experience.

Funny Company Names: Kum and Go

4. Cummer Museum

Don’t stand too close to the exhibit. Seriously. You’ll regret it.

Funny Company Names: Cummer Museum

5. Kuntz Insurance Group

When you enter Kuntz, you’ll immediately feel the warmth. And protection’s always provided.

Funny Company Names: Kuntz Insurance

6. STD Flea Market

This week’s sale: gonorrhea!

Funny Company Names: STD Flea Market

7. Johnson Builders and STD Contractors

Let’s be honest: If you’re working with that many johnsons, you’re bound to contract some STDs.

Funny Company Names: Johnson STD Contractors

8. Young Dong Restaurant

A favorite of cougars worldwide.

Funny Company Names: Young Dong

9. The Black Cock Restaurant

Where the portions are significantly larger.

Funny Company Names: Black Cock Restaurant

10. Mammoth Erection Construction Company

I hear they built the Black Cock.

Funny Company Names: Mammoth Erection

11. The Hands On Children Museum

Wait…is that legal?

Funny Company Names: Hands On Children Museum

12. S&M Amusements

Whip up a fun weekend in no time!

Funny Company Names: S&M Amusements

13. Cum Park Plaza

Here’s hoping BJ’s opens a location there soon.

Funny Company Names: Cum Park Plaza

14. Menlove Dental Practice

Oh, they fill cavities, all right.

Funny Company Names: Menlove Dental

15. Nipple Convalescent Home

It’s not nearly as titillating as it sounds.

Funny Company Names: Nipple Convalescent Home

16. Kidsexchange

Dear Kidsexchange: If you want the underage trannies to stop knocking, put a space in your goddamned name.

Funny Company Names: Kidsexchange

17. Weiner and Cox Attorneys at Law

Weiner and Cox…where handling the law is both hard and easy.

Funny Company Names: Weiner and Cox

18. PMS Mortgage

To be fair, men have been making payments for centuries.

Funny Company Names: PMS Mortgage

19. A.S.S. Promotion

Also known as “J-Lo’s publicist.”

Funny Company Names: A.S.S. Promotion

20. Doggie Style Grooming Salon

The front door has a sign: “Please enter from the rear.”

Funny Company Names: Doggy Style Grooming Salon

Ready for more ridiculous name entertainment? Up next is “The Dirty Dozen: 12 Preposterous Product Names,” and then “What the Frak: When Acronyms Attack.”

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