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We’re Suing Apple, Michael Arrington, and 8 Others

eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce lawsuits against Michael Arrington, Apple, AT&T, and a bunch of other places that are really starting to piss us off.

By (@eSarcasm)

December 11, 2009

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Michael Arrington LawsuitTake cover while you can: The tech industry’s legal shitstorm of 2009 has officially begun.

In case you haven’t heard, Michael Arrington’s suing Fusion Garage over the failed CrunchPad-turned-JooJoo tablet; Nokia’s suing Apple over the technology used in its mobile phone; Apple’s suing Nokia over the technology used in its mobile phones; Google’s suing a Utah company over its use of the Google name; and a record label’s suing Google and Microsoft over some pirated music problem.


Clearly, suing the bejesus out of someone is the “in” thing to do right now, so we’ve decided to get in on the action as well. eSarcasm LLC would like to formally announce the following legal actions, set to be filed in the State of Mental Imbalance*:

*We’ve passed all of these filings onto our corporate law firm, Bideme & Blomee LLP. Since as far as we know, that law firm does not actually exist, these cases will likely never reach any actual docket.

Oh yeah: We’re also suing the guy who stole our idea for the SarcPad. But that’s another story altogether.

(Judge Dread cartoon courtesy of

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