TechSex

Share the Gift of Jugs This Holiday Season

It’s the perfect storm of wretched press releases, combining the Bible, hugs, and false holiday sentiment. But changing just a single letter makes it all better.

By (@tynanwrites)

December 11, 2009

jugs not hugsYes, it’s that time of year again, when treacle-filled press releases just ooze off the screen, making us lunge for the Pepto. Perhaps we shouldn’t have had that fourth (fifth?) tequila shooter last night. Perhaps we have a bit too much of the Grinch inside. But this one really nailed our gag reflex:

There’s No Such Thing as Too Many Hugs

Women especially understand the need for hugs at critical times in their lives.  Seemingly equipped with an alarm that goes off the moment they are in need, they intuitively know they must reach out for support.  One talented writer is doing her best to wrap her arms around every woman – one at a time – with her uplifting book, Hugs Bible Reflections for Women (Simon & Schuster).  Mindy Ferguson understands this need and the benefit of uplifting help, and although she can’t personally hug each reader, she manages to do the next best thing with prose in her enchanting book. 

What better time to introduce this book with the Holidays fast-approaching, bringing their accompanying emotional mix of joy, sadness, love, pain, and loneliness….  Hugs — a collection that will tug at heartstrings with tales ranging from losing loved ones to destroyed financial dreams. 

All we can say is, Hug it out, bitch.

But what about us guys? Don’t we deserve some attention too?
big-asian-boobs

That’s why eSarcasm is introducing the ‘Jugs Not Hugs’ collection. Because men especially understand the need for jugs in these critical times. Seemingly equipped with radar that can locate a C cup within 50 yards, they instinctively reach out, trying to wrap their hands around each and every one, two at a time.

It’s an uplifting story filled with joy, sadness, love, pain, and temporary restraining orders. Jugs — a collection that will tug at her bra strap with tales ranging from drunken strip joint brawls to severe back pain.

Hey, it’s even endorsed by Jesus. Buy it or go to hell. Your choice.

Photos: 18plustrades, TittyBlog






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