Favorites   •   TechSex

Coming Soon: Sex Spray to Help You Last Longer

This ain’t your grandparents’ Binaca: Scientists have developed a simple spray that can turn your below-the-belt buddy into the Energizer Bunny. At least, relatively speaking.

By (@JRRaphael)

November 26, 2009

Sex SprayMinute men, your hour has arrived. After years of hard work (it felt like years to them, anyway), scientists say they’ve achieved maximum potential on a new kind of sex spray for the endurance-challenged. Pop the lid, spray it on, and you’ll keep going, and going, and… well, you get the idea.

The spray, officially named PSD502 — Post-Sex Disappointment, maybe? — was presented this month at a medical seminar in San Diego. It’s a topical anesthetic that turns the Beavis-era insult of “numbnuts” into a reality: Douse your dong with it, its creators claim, and the resulting sensation will help you last six times longer. Plus, your penis’s breath will never have been fresher.

Sex Spray Ad

The docs say their shaft spritz is the first to be proven effective in a controlled medical experiment. A whopping 90 percent of the men observed found it to work as intended, they report, and the stuff only had to be applied five minutes before getting down to business.

(“Five minutes?” one participant probably exclaimed. “I’ve never waited that long for anything to conclude.”)

Before you get Mr. Happy too excited, though, consider these fine figures: The spray, according to the test, allowed men to increase their staying power from 0.6 seconds to — ladies, contain yourselves — a full 3.8 minutes.

A fittingly disappointing climax to the story, we know. Can we at least cuddle for a few minutes to help ease the awkward tension?

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter