10 Words Missing From Oxford’s Word of the Year List
The New Oxford American Dictionary says “unfriend” is the word of the year. We say “douchebaggery,” “iBoner,” and “twhoring” should have been considered.
Unfriending has never seemed so cool.
Oxford, in case you haven’t heard, has officially announced “unfriend” — as in, “I’m going to unfriend you now, you total Facebook knob” — as its 2009 Word of the Year. Also considered for the honor were such tech-tinged gems as “hashtag,” “netbook,” and (of course) “sexting”.
Don’t get us wrong — those words are all quite lovely. We here at eSarcasm, however, believe there are many more words that should have made Oxford’s short list. Words like:
- Douchebaggery (n.): Any act likely to be performed by a douchebag — e.g. listening to John Mayer, live-blogging an Apple event, or quoting Michael Arrington.
- iBoner (n.): The inexplicable excitement experienced by Apple fanboys over the latest Apple rumor du jour.
- Microsoft Boner For Home and Professional Use (n.): The equivalent of an iBoner, only as experienced by the elusive Microsoft fanboy.
- Twhoring (v.): The act of whoring oneself out on Twitter. Can be accomplishing by autofollowing all new followers, mass-following large groups of people in the hopes that they’ll follow you back, or setting obnoxious auto-DMs to be sent to all new followers.
- Tweaching (v.): Tweeting for a higher power; also, grimacing after tweezing out a rogue pube.
- Safe-sexting (v.): Placing a protective guard over your phone prior to sexting-related activity. Hey, liquid damage ain’t cheap to fix.
- gWriting (v.): A new form of rewriting designed to gain prominent Google placement without having to produce any original thought.
- Androidyny (n.): A condition in which someone uses an Android-based phone but also owns an Apple-designed product.
- UUATNOEUing (v.): Using unnecessary acronyms that no one else understands; also, unbuttoning underwear and taking nards out extra urgently.
- Social media slut (n.): Someone willing to sleep with the moderators of Slashdot, blow the editors of Fark, and give handjobs to the 14-year-olds who control Digg — all in order to gain favorable rankings.
(Note: We are still actively looking to hire someone who meets this description.)
Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter | Widgets
