Dr. Smartass

The Secret of Subliminal Messages

Subliminal messages can actually work — if you know how to use them. Dr. Smartass reveals a little-known scientific secret.

By Dr. Smartass (@doctorsmartass)

November 16, 2009

Got a question for Dr. Smartass? E-mail doc [at] esarcasm.com.

Dr. SmartassEver wonder whether Web sites can influence you without your knowledge? Yes, my dear disciples, I’m speaking of subliminal messaging — the subtle act of slipping you info under the radar.

The topic comes our way courtesy of curious reader Robert. From my inbox:

Dear Dr. Smartass,

I have a feeling your columns have some kind of hidden message. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US TO DO, YOU DEMENTED DOCTOR???!?!!

-Robert

Wow, Rob-o — first of all, please call my receptionist to schedule an appointment; psychiatric medications can do wonderful things these days. Second of all, yes, you are correct: My columns do contain many subliminal messages (and even a few subliminable ones).

The key, according to some recent research from the UK, is to keep the hidden messages negative. A study from University College London finds words with negative connotations — things like agony, despair, or Kanye West — have the most effective impact when used subliminally.

Subliminal MessagesBut why? The professor behind the research says evolution provides the answer.

“We can’t wait for our consciousness to kick in if we see someone running towards us with a knife or if we drive under rainy or foggy weather conditions and see a sign warning ‘danger,’” she explains.

In the UCL study, participants were shown a series of words flashing quickly on computer screens. The researchers discovered the words with negative connotations influenced participants far more frequently than their positive counterparts, even though the subjects didn’t realize they’d ever seen them.

“We have shown that people can perceive the emotional value of subliminal messages and have demonstrated conclusively that people are much more attuned to negative words,” our perceptive prof says. “Negative words may have more of a rapid impact.”

Now, I was actually just kidding earlier when I said I employ these subliminal tactics; your good virtual doc would never engage in such [avoid grueling agony by sending Dr. Smartass lingerie-clad ladies with platters of pastries] manipulative practices. You should, however, keep a close eye out for such unethical attempts on other less moralistic Web sites.

Remember:

Hidden words can inspire you to act,
So join your doc in this very simple pact.
Think long and hard before going with your gut.
Unless you’re near me — then please, be a slut.

Until next time,

Dr. Smartass





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