T-Mobile: Sorry for the Outages, Here’s Some Free Porn

Troubled telecom provider serves up lewd pix to customers on its Web site. Are they a great company or what?

November 5, 2009

T-Mobile is truly the telecom that knows how to give back to its customers.

As if exciting 10-day outages and unprecedented data loss weren’t enough, we’ve got yet another reason to Go T-Mo: Free porn.

People who logged on to T-Mobile’s Web site this week to pay their bills were promptly rewarded with pictures of prodigiously endowed topless women and an enormous black gal getting what is known in prison circles as a “tossed salad with croutons.”

(And you thought only Blackberries did RIM jobs. Ba dump-bump.)

Yes, this story is true. Amazingly, not one of the lewd photos featured famous T-Mobile customer Paris Hilton, a situation analysts called “highly unlikely.”

This is just another way T-Mobile takes care of its customers. And it isn’t even the first time, either. Last May, a T-Mobile customer in Oregon was trying to download a Modest Mouse ringtone when she got a not-so-Modest piece of kiddie porn instead. (Not to worry, T-Mobile refunded the charges.)

Even better are the letters from outraged (and possibly engorged) T-Mobile customers, published by The Consumerist:

No one – and I mean NO ONE – would believe me when I told them that I did not take the photo, nor did I put it there. I finally had to just drop it because the more I insisted that it wasn’t mine, the more guilty I sounded. The problem here is that I am the head of the Human Resources Department.

On the plus side, recruiting has gone through the roof.

I have attempted to resolve this matter via the proper channels, ending in a conversation with T-Mobile tier-2 technical support. The answers I have received so far are unsatisfactory, and to be frank, somewhat condescending…..I was first told that I had somehow unknowingly uploaded these photos myself, or that I had left my phone unattended and a nefarious person of mystery had uploaded them via my handset without my knowledge.

Ah yes, the old ‘nefarious person of mystery’ gambit. That one doesn’t work for us, either.

Being the expeditious person that I am, I logged in to T-Mobile’s web site, whipped out my trusty credit card, and paid my bill online that same day. … A little on the anal-retentive side I’d agree with you, but whatever.