He’s Not That Into You: 25 Stupid Tweets
Sorry, Twitter, but we just weren’t that into these 25 tweets from today’s trending topic.
How do you know when he’s just not that into you? Ask the citizens of the Twitterverse.
A months-old mediocre movie somehow exploded into a popular trending topic on Twitter today: #HesNotThatIntoYou. For the past several hours, people have been sending out heart-felt sentiments on love, sex, and how to know when a guy is playing games.
Of course, not everyone’s thoughts are exactly what you’d call profound. Here are 25 tweets we just weren’t that into.
@monicamariie: #Hesnotthatintoyou when you find out that he was qoinq out with a qirl when you were qoinq out with him. i should know. qoing throuqh it now
Hint: It may have something to do with your odd habit of always using a “q” in place of a “g.”
@neek_neek08: if u told him he couldn’t rap n u wud neva fukin buy his cd ats probably y #HesNotThatIntoYou
Um, right. That totally happened to me the other day.
@evadorable: #HesNotThatIntoYou when he always asks about how huge your love is
Wait a minute. What if she always talks about how huge our “love” is? That seems like a good sign.
@datpinkchick: #hesnotthatintoyou when he says I’ll have to think about it
Hmm…I’m not sure about that one. I’ll have to think about it.
@jus_pashyn: #hesnotthatintoyou if yu text him && all he ever says is “lol k”
lol. k.
@TheodoraBagwell: #hesnotthatintoyou Follow me if you love Megan Fox!!!!!!!!!!
No idea what this has to do with the topic at hand — but done.
@tweet_seat: #hesnotthatintoyou if he suggests a threesome, swinging or group sex.
But what if she’s a hot Megan-Fox-loving girl we just met on Twitter?
@iKnOwSaReNaH: #Hesnotthatintoyou if he takes you out to dinner then excuses himself to go to “the restroom” bt he dont never come back!!
How to put this delicately: That brisket we ordered could not wait for evacuation.
@knauticus: If he farts & holds u under da covers #hesnotthatintoyou
In some cultures, that’s seen as a sign of affection. (We are still seeking out said cultures. Anyone?)
@chocoheywood: #hesnotthatintoyou it’s damn hard. :))
Actually, that’s probably a sign that he is into you. Or wants to be, anyway — speaking from a literal perspective.
@PastorEaton: #HesNotThatIntoYou if he doesn’t not truly love you #truelovefriday God’s love (John 3:16) http://ping.fm/UOIGP #trueloveis
With all due respect, pastor, I think you might have misinterpreted the topic.
@HeatherGilesx3: #HesNotThatIntoYou because you smell like fish
Exception: if you actually are a fish. We fellas have nothing against our waterbound brothers.
@mrgrumpy1: #HesNotThatIntoYou if he’s tweeting during sex
What about during a BJ? We hear that’s okay.
@DJYoshi: if you’re at a club and he’s either: sittin down, leaning on the wall like a flower or not grindin up on your ass, #hesnotthatintoyou
Indeed. I frequently indicate my disinterest to a lady by “not grindin’ up on her ass.” It’s how it’s done.
@Saya25: #HesNotThatIntoYou, if when you get caught publicly he jumps behind you!!!!
Hang on. Between this tweet and the last one, we’re starting to get mixed messages.
@nekaneka: #hesnotthatintoyou if all he does is talk about himself when you’re on a date or hanging out
You know, Nekaneka, that’s too true. I once did that. Let’s hang out and I’ll tell you all about the fascinating things I said.
@PaQMaN05: #HesNotThatIntoYou if U sendin sublimninal twitz about him n he neva respondz
Are these “sublimninal twitz” you speak of anything like the “subliminable messages” we used to hear about all the time?
@chrdona1970: #hesnotthatintoyou when he turns down sex because the dog needs to go out.
Unless that’s some kind of weird euphemism. (For what exactly, we’re not sure.)
@ocjacqui: #hesnotthatintoyou when he yells his own name during sex.
Even if his name happens to be Jesus?
@hansonguy Dear psycho Hanson fans…got to break it to you.. #HesNotThatIntoYou
We still maintain that that chick from Hanson is totally hot.
@Rui__: #HesNotThatIntoYou bc beard in a person called Jessica dont makes any sense.
Speaking of things that don’t “makes any sense,” did you read your tweet?
@Sbragg1: he’s really #hesnotthatintoyou if he tell u he burning but he’s really not just so yall can stop talking
Actually, if he’s burning, you and he both probably need to go get tested.
@KiddMcflyy: #HesNotThatIntoYou if he’s watchin tv while your having sex lol
But what if “Boy Meets World” is on? That Topanga is so crazy.
@bobbyohbobby: #hesnotthatintoyou when he only calls u 2:00am in the morning
Bobby — oh, Bobby. Some of us are just night owls.
@chrdona1970: #HesNotThatIntoYou when he reads a playboy just before switching of the lights to do you…
For the thousandth time, we like the goddamned articles.
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