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Which of These Pictures Is Not Like the Others?

Google and Hitachi have launched “similar image” searches that promise to redefine… we’re not sure what. But we messed around with them to see what happened. Prepare to be amazed.

By (@tynanwrites)

October 30, 2009

Google may control most of the known universe, but that’s not stopping the little guys from trying to kick them in the shins.

Today’s case in point: An image search engine with the curious name of GazoPa. Its gimmick is that you can upload photos from your hard drive or point GazoPa toward the URL of the image, and it will hunt down pix that look like yours.
hot czech stew thumb

(The idea is that if you like hot pictures of slutty Czech flight attendants, you’ll love images of amorous Albanian air-ho’s. Or something like that.)

A few hours later Google responded with “oh yeah, we do that too,” adding a “Find similar images” feature to its porn-orific Google Image Search.

The question, of course: How do these services define “similar”?

We couldn’t pass up wasting half a day trying to find out. So we uploaded pix recently abused stolen used on eSarcasm to GazoPa, and also tried to locate them on Google. Here’s what we found.

(And, by the way, all these results are real, in case you’re wondering.)

down in pants + ginormous boobs

OK, we can sort of see this connection. All we can say is, if his pair is even remotely like hers, we hope he seeks out treatment – and, in the meantime, a wheelbarrow.

big cock vs big cock2

The file name for this prodigiously sized rooster (left): Big Cock.jpg. ‘Nuff said.

perez hilton vs the dog

Perez Hilton (wearing what appears to be his mother’s Hello Kitty shower cap) is the equivalent of a dog with brain implants. Yes, we can definitely see this. But if they were both contestants on “Jeopardy,” we’d bet on the dog.

FYI, when Google’s similar images search is employed, we find this photo of Ellen DeGeneres. Kind of an amazing match, really. Though only one of them likes women.

preggers barbie vs virgin mary

Strangely enough, we’d never made the preggers Barbie = Virgin Mary connection before, but now that we think about it, that makes a lot of sense.

Google turns up this photo of Jamie Lynn Spears. We’re really starting to like this similar image schtick.

Finally, guess who shows up when we search on this picture of Steve Ballmer (doing his best Gene Simmons impersonation):

steve ballmer vs george bush

That kind of explains a lot, doesn’t it?

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