12 Phrases Too Hot For Amazon’s PayPhrase
Amazon is now letting you set a custom “PayPhrase” to access your account — but if you want to use any of these 12 word combos, you’re going to be out of luck.
Typing in your e-mail address and password is an awful lot of work — or so it would seem, anyway, based on Amazon’s newly launched PayPhrase payment system.
Amazon PayPhrase, announced Thursday, allows you to set a custom phrase that links directly to your account. That phrase, along with a four-digit PIN, lets you make immediate purchases without ever having to sign in.
We did some digging, however, and discovered a dozen phrases that were listed as unavailable right at the program’s launch. Why are they unavailable? Who knows. But not to worry — we’ve got your back.
Our team of highly trained word association experts scoured Amazon’s database to find available alternatives to all 12 unavailable phrases. The pairs listed below are 100-percent accurate as of this publication — yes, we really did check — so if you see a phrase you like, you’d better head over to Amazon and snatch it up ASAP.
• Unavailable: Big penis
• Available: Pubic monster
• Unavailable: Apple fan boy
• Available: Windows fan boy
• Unavailable: Huge ballsac
• Available: Huge Ballmer
• Unavailable: Fantastic blowjob
• Available: Vigorous suck
• Unavailable: I love TechCrunch
• Available: I love porn
• Unavailable: Hot fuck
• Available: Wet screw
• Unavailable: Big boobies
• Available: Large melons
• Unavailable: I crank it constantly
• Available: I whack off too much
• Unavailable: Anal sex
• Available: Butt sex
• Unavailable: I love sluts
• Available: I enjoy loose ladies
• Unavailable: Amazon blows
• Available: Amazon sucks
• Unavailable: Give me handjobs
• Available: Give me Steve Jobs
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