Rants In Our Pants

Twitter Thriller: The Michael Jackson Twitter Séance

What do you get when you try to summon Michael Jackson in a Twitter-based séance? Something only an updated version of “Thriller” could explain.

By (@JRRaphael)

October 28, 2009

Self-proclaimed psychic Jayne Wallace is holding what she calls the world’s first interactive Twitter séance, dubbed the “Tweance.” Wallace will supposedly summon Michael Jackson, Kurt Cobain, River Phoenix, and William Shakespeare into the Twitterverse to send out 140-character messages from beyond.

We felt the only appropriate way to address this stunt was in song — specifically, one sung to the tune of MJ’s own “Thriller.” Feel free to dance along.

Michael Jackson Twitter SeanceSign on to Twitter, and on a creepy journey we’ll embark
Under the blue bird, you see a tweet that almost makes you shart
You hit retweet, but fail whale takes the text before you send it
You start to freeze as MJ looks you right between the eyes
It’s a reprise

Cause this is Twitter, Tweance night
It’s River, Kurt, and Shakespeare…and MJ too, all right
You know it’s Twitter, Tweance night
The dead celebs are tweetin’ in a Twitter litter tonight

You see a new tweet and realize yet another one has come
It’s River Phoenix, and man oh man is he a-feelin’ glum
Here he died, and now he’s coming back to a social network
And all the while, he feels that fail whale creeping up behind
He’s out of time

Cause this is Twitter, Tweance night
They don’t know what to say inside a tweet one-forty size, yeah
Twitter, Tweance night
Shakespeare cannot write in such a tiny Twitter reply

Shakespeare TwitterKurt Cobain’s tweetin’, he wants you to click on his bit.ly link
There’s no escaping the mafia family this time
This is the end of the line

Now William Shakespeare is summoned and he’s tweeting out replies
He’s talking dirty, writing ’bout a woman’s quiverin’ thigh
No L-O-L’s — ol’ Billy doesn’t know about the lingo
Nor does he try to hashtag up any of his new tweets
That’s not his thing

Not in this Twitter, Tweance night
A hundred-forty characters from four real famous dead guys
Twitter, Tweance night
Some crazy psychic psycho has a
Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, Tweance here tonight!

The original:

(Shakespeare image: Electric Blues)

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