Alternate Reality

Microsoft Says Buh-Bye, Family Guy

Windows 7 promo a no go after Seth MacFarlane riffs on the Holocaust, deaf people, and incest. It seems some people have no sense of humor.

By (@tynanwrites)

October 28, 2009

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

griffins in tightsMicrosoft has pulled its sponsorship of Fox Network’s Family Guy special next month, citing concerns over the show’s content.

According to Variety, Microsoft executives who watched the taping of “Family Guy Presents: Seth and Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show”were appalled to witness hosts Seth MacFarlane and Alex Boorstein perform “typical ‘Family Guy’-style jokes, including riffs on deaf people, the Holocaust, feminine hygiene and incest.”

(Frankly, we don’t understand that. Nothing cracks us up more than jokes about Auschwitz victims who sleep with their siblings while yelling “Twat did you say? I cunt hear you.”)

Apparently, nobody at Microsoft had watched “Family Guy” before agreeing to sponsor the entire half hour, commercial free, save for repeated gratuitous mentions of Windows 7. Hey, it has the word “family” in the title. How were they to know?

Showing solidarity with the embattled Griffin family, cartoon characters reached for comment by eSarcasm expressed outrage at Microsoft’s decision.

tweetie the twitter bird

Tweetie bird, who recently signed on to be spokes-avian for Twitter, said of Microsoft “I taught dey had more class dan dat,” while Sylvester the Puddy Cat called the decision “Dethpicable.”

“This was a Mickey Mouse move — and I ought to know,” said Mickey Mouse, who is now fully recovered from injuries sustained in a fracas with Marvel Comics characters last month.

The Justice League of Superheroes vowed to bring a reign of unholy terror down on Steve Ballmer’s head, or at the very least organize a picket line outside Microsoft’s Redmond headquarters.


Family Guy officials have not announced a new sponsor for the special, though eSarcasm has learned that advertisers under consideration include FemaFresh, NAMBLA, and the American Nazi Party.

In related news: Stewie Griffin has gone missing. Bystanders heard him mutter something about “looking to even the score”. The Federal Task Force on Cartoon Violence has urged citizens of Washington state to be on the lookout for a heavily army baby with a head shaped like a football.

Image of Peter Griffin in lingerie courtesy of IGN

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