Rants In Our Pants

12 Amusing Tweets About Apple’s Tablet

Well, to be fair, most of them weren’t intended to be amusing. But we found them pretty damn funny.

By (@JRRaphael)

October 26, 2009

Apple Tablet RumorsThe Apple rumor that just won’t die is back in full swing again this week. We’re talking about none other than everyone’s favorite piece of nonexistent technology, the menacing and (thus far mythical) Apple tablet.

The latest scuttlebutt fueling the flame comes courtesy of New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller, who — as the lifeless lame-o’s sharp shooters at Gawker discovered — made a random mention of “the impending Apple slate” during a talk at Harvard’s Nieman Journalism Lab last week.

As we all know, it doesn’t take much to get the Apple fanatics shooting their shorts, and this was certainly more than enough stimulation to make it happen. Here are 12 of the most amusing tweets we saw.

@AlexLovegrove Ahrggh all the Apple Tablet rumours are driving me mad! Must have it i need it!

We feel the same exact way — only about breasts, not some overpriced computer.

@NshThakur Waaaaahh I am going to D-I-E !!!! if I don’t get the Apple tablet, like now !!! Ok, ok. Let’s see how cute the techcrunch tablet will be

O-M-G!!! The TechCrunch tablet is soooo cute. We totally hooked up with it a few weeks ago. (It never called us back…the bastard.)

@stanhoraczek The internet has done so much useless jabbering about the Apple Tablet, it’s doomed to be the Snakes on a Plane of gadgets.

In this metaphor, however, no one’s ever going to get those motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane.

@inv77 The “how much will you pay for an Apple Tablet?” question might be a bit premature given the specification…

Sure. But the Apple rumor mongers are accustomed to premature iSpeculation.

@anjrued I read somewhere that the Apple tablet could be called the Apple Slate. I wonder if there’s any truth to this.

Good question. Someone should really write a blog post speculating about that.

@coochiehouse CoochieHouse.com New York Times Editor Accidentally Reveals Existence of Apple Tablet

Oh, thank God. CoochieHouse.com is covering this monumental news.

@mackozer Naciski, naciski, a gdzie przecieki?

According to Google Translate, this comes out to roughly: “Pressure, pressure, and where’s the leaks?” Which sounds like a lovely alternative to “Ring Around the Rosie.”

@TheGayFish Apple tablet is first. Curious what all the hype around the readers is, reading in the tub would suck!

Yeah. Especially if the tub is where those damned leaks are.

@farmerben Can an Apple Tablet kill the Kindle?

Can we ever stop questioning whether every new piece of technology can “kill” some other? (Unfortunate answer: no.)

@AppleTabletBiz stay tuned to us for the latest Apple Tablet News

Gee, that’s helpful. You really should have sent this exact same tweet out 5,000 times today. Oh, wait — you did.

@artchique when the fictional apple tablet & the wacom cintiq make a baby i’ll buy one.

Don’t know about any baby-making, but we’re pretty sure this rumor is causing some frantic fanboy masturbation.

@SplinteredMind I’m trying to figure out why I would need an Apple tablet. I have a laptop & iPhone. Unless the tablet replaces one of those, I don’t see it

Uh, because anything with an Apple logo on it is automatically worth buying. Isn’t that how it works?

(Image: TrendHunter.com)

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