Alternate Reality

‘Save Windows Vista’ Campaign Gathers Steam

Not everyone is happy to say ‘Adios, Vista’ when Windows 7 arrives. A dedicated group of Vista diehards is determined to keep the dream alive. An eSarcasm exclusive report.

By (@tynanwrites)

October 16, 2009

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

vista protestors outside redmond campusAs the days wind down to the official Windows 7 release next Thursday, a surprising yet impassioned cry can be heard across the blogosphere: “Save Windows Vista!”

Possibly the most reviled operating system in Microsoft’s tarnished history, even Vista has its devotees, who are organizing in a desperate last-ditch effort to keep the OS alive and kicking.

“Don’t let Vista be swept into the Recycling Bin of history,” wrote one impassioned blogger on the Save Windows Vista site. “It is time for all Windows Vista users of conscience to come out of hiding and Show the World Your Wow.”

Taking Inspiration from InfoWorld’s Save XP campaign, which circulated an online petition that garnered more than 200,000 signatures, the Save Vista campaign hopes to gather enough support to convince Microsoft to continue supporting the program indefinitely.

The odds are clearly against them. In a recent online survey, Vista placed fourth behind Swine Flu, Dick Cheney, and hemorrhoids in terms of overall popularity.

Undeterred, a handful of Vista supporters were spotted picketing outside Microsoft’s Redmond headquarters, carrying signs with slogans like “Screw the Whales, Save Vista” and “The Wow is Still Now.” Others implored passersby to sign petitions which they hope to personally deliver to CEO Steve Ballmer.

However, copies of petitions obtained by eSarcasm show only a handful of signatures, some of them in crayon. And though the organizers of the Save Windows Vista movement claim to have thousands of followers, critics suspect the movement is the work of just a handful of Microsoft Fanboys – or just one really large one.

Even other Microsoft supporters are skeptical. Martha Muffmaster took time out from baking a batch of snicker-doodles for her Windows 7 launch party next week to speak with us.

“Those darned Vista supporters make me so mad, I feel like giving them a good spanking,” says the 47-year-old spinster. “I love Microsoft, but Vista stank up the place like a dead beaver buried in the wood pile. It’s time they gave it a proper Christian burial and moved on.”

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