Rants In Our Pants

Across the Twitterverse

A song for and about social media gurus, sung to the tune of The Beatles’ “Across the Universe.”

By (@tynanwrites)

October 12, 2009

social media guruWords meander like
An endless stream of nonsense on my screen
Their hashtags flicker past
They slip away across the Twitterverse

I can show you how
To turn your tweets into a money tree
(Of course I make no guarantees)

I’m a media guru…. ommmmmm
I am someone in the know
I joined almost two months ago
I used to work at Eddie Bauer
Now I charge $200 an hour

Word of Mouth, “the Conversation”
Everyone is talking about talking about talking
All across the Twitterverse

Personal rebranding efforts
Are a speciality
Included in my standard fee

I’m a media guru…. ommmmmm
Ten thousand people follow me
They’re social media whores (like me)
I find it easy to impress
In 140 characters or less

Optimizing traffic
Analyzing your backchannel
Are just some things we deliver
All across the Twitterverse

What these things might actually mean
We really couldn’t tell you
But don’t they sound impressive
All across the Twitterverse?

I’m a media guru…. ommmmmm
If you’d only hire me
You’ll be a Web celebrity
I really do not have a clue
I’m hoping you don’t have one too

I’m a media guru
I’m a media guru
I’m a media guru….

[Repeat until you fall into a state of pure bliss… or asleep, whichever comes first.]

Now here’s a lovely little video of the actual song (with apologies to the memory of John Lennon):

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