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Mythical Lesbians Are Breaking the Internets

Imaginary sex-crazed lesbians are bringing the Web to a standstill in Sweden. If that sentence doesn’t intrigue you, we’re not sure what will.

By (@JRRaphael)

October 9, 2009

Lesbians of Chako Paul City, SwedenThose damn mythical lesbians are at it again.

The imaginary ladies — you know, those same insatiable blondes always getting into lustful pillow fights in our heads — are now breaking the bleeping Internets. And not because of widespread image searching for “lustful pillow fights,” either (although that probably doesn’t help).

The lovely lezzies, it seems, have moved into a made-up Swedish town where they have constant crazy sex with thousands of horny women. And thousands of horny men are slowing down Sweden’s servers trying to find the place.

You think I’m making this up? To be fair, I can see why. But this thing’s for real — not the actual lesbian city, mind you, but the obsession with uncovering it. From Australia’s News.com:

“Swedish tourism bodies have been swamped with inquiries from millions of men captivated by a mythical town rumored to be home to 25,000 sex-mad lesbians. … The myth has been embraced by the Chinese media, with millions of men crippling the country’s internet providers trying to find out how to get to the town.”

Chako Paul City Sweden LesbiansThe details only get more intriguing: The town, called Chako Paul City, was supposedly founded in the early 1800s by a “wealthy man-hating widow.” Two gorgeous blondes are said to guard the gates, making sure only authorized visitors slither their way inside.

Most of the town’s gals work in the forestry industry, wearing — according to Sweden’s The Local news service — “thick waist belt[s] full of woodworking equipment.” You see? They are all really craving to work with wood, deep down inside.

Perhaps most noteworthy, though: The ladies of Chako Paul went the lesbian route because they couldn’t “suppress their sexual needs,” according to the Chinese news agencies.

Before you get too excited, though, you should know that Swedish tourism officials, blasted buzzkillers that they are, insist there’s no place even remotely like Chako Paul City. But hey, who says the dream has to die? It’s time we all stand up and fight for what matters — you know, hot chicks getting it on with each other.

So I say forget the Internet’s well-being; servers were meant to be broken. Fire up the Googles, my friends, and let’s go find this magical place. We may never get there, but damn it, we can do plenty of “hands-on” searching.

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