Browsers, Ballots, or Bullets?

Europeans will soon get to vote for their favorite browser, thanks to EU sanctions against Microsoft. eSarcasm has the scoop on what that ballot should really look like.

By Dan Tynan

October 11, 2009

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Here in the good old U.S.A., Microsoft pretty much gets what it wants from the government. Oh sure, every five years or so they get sued for anti-trust violations, but it’s never anything a few hundred lawyers at $700 an hour can’t fix.

In Europe, however, it’s a different story. The EU is so ticked off about Microsoft monopolizing the browser market — by wedging Internet Explorer into Windows tighter than a thong between Oprah’s butt cheeks — that it’s doing something about it.

When buyers of new PCs across the pond turn on their machines, they’ll soon be staring at a ballot that lets them vote for their preferred browser. Ars Technica has a copy of the ballot that’s apparently been approved by both the EU and Microsoft. It looks something like this:

However, eSarcasm has learned that this is in fact a well orchestrated cover up. We have obtained copies of the original, unvarnished ballot. It looks just a little bit different:

We thought, heck, this is such a good idea, why not extend it to other categories? For example, when you finally launch the browser of your choice, shouldn’t it give you a choice of home pages as well?