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Wikipedia-Flavored Beef and 12 Other Delicious Dishes

A Chinese restaurant’s “Wikipedia-flavored” entrée inspired us to cook up some tech-tinged dishes of our own. Care to try the Moo Goo Google or Microsoft Lo Mein For Home Dining?

By (@eSarcasm)

October 8, 2009

Uh, waiter… we’ll have two orders of the Beef Brisket in Wikipedia Flavor, please.

Hey, don’t look at us — it’s a real menu item. Just ask the guys at Green Tea II in Framingham, Massachusetts. For $9.95, they’ll let you enjoy the bold flavor of poorly edited and wholly inaccurate information. (We imagine it tastes slightly bitter, much like the restaurant’s “Mysterious Taste Chicken.”)

Beef Brisket In Wikipedia Flavor

Reading about these strange creations, we found ourselves hankering for more tech-tinged cuisine. We slaved all day in the eSarcasm kitchen to come up with the following menu. Wouldn’t you like to try one of our mouth-watering delicacies?

  • Sweet & Sour iPhone. Hope you enjoy it the way it is — you aren’t allowed to add any seasonings or sauces unless they’ve been pre-approved by the chef.
  • Microsoft Lo Mein For Home and Restaurant Dining. It’s bland and has a horrible name. Still, it’s better than starving to death.
  • Chopsticks

  • Bing Rolls. Not particularly tasty, but they come free with every order of Microsoft Lo Mein.
  • Stir Fried Facebook. Filled with all sorts of stuff you don’t want but find yourself consuming anyway.
  • MySpace Soup. Don’t blame us if you find a G-string floating in it.
  • Kung Pao TechCrunch. Always spicy, but little real substance; you’re sure to feel unsatisfied after digesting. And 30 minutes later, you’ll be hungry for another unsubstantiated rumor.
  • Moo Goo Google. Tastes great, but by God, it always feels like someone’s watching you while you eat it.
  • Ya Hoo Pork. Not great, not awful — you only order it when Moo Goo Google isn’t available.
  • Wikipedia-Flavored Beef

  • Suckling Digg. Sweet morsels of mystery meat that always leave you feeling a little queasy.
  • Kindled Vegetables. Tastes mighty fine, but the restaurant reserves the right to come to your house and make you gag it back up.
  • YouTube with Oyster Sauce. You never know exactly what you’re going to get. Odds are, though, you’ll find cats inside.
  • Teriyaki Twitter. A low-calorie entrée served with a side of Fail Whale Sushi. Oh, wait — nevermind. It’s currently unavailable.

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