Dr. Smartass

Chicks and Cars: The Science of Fast Attraction

Hot babes and cool cars go together like CPUs and thermal grease. But is a smooth ride really enough to rev up a lady’s engine? Dr. Smartass tracks down the answer.

By (@doctorsmartass)

September 27, 2009

Got a question for Dr. Smartass? E-mail doc [at] esarcasm.com.

Dr. SmartassAs a virtual doctor of geeks around the globe, I’m frequently asked about girls and how our various obsessions affect them. This week is no exception.

Today, your query transports us to the world of auto technology — not auto-erotica, mind you, but auto-mobiles. (You know, those big four-wheeled gadgets that transport you between offline locations.) The question: How much does a guy’s ride matter to the ladies?

From my inbox:

Dear Dr. Smartass,

I drive an old Chrysler LeBaron, which isn’t exactly a chick magnet. My friend and I got into an argument over how big of a deal that really is. Do girls actually care about what kind of car a guy drives?


Kevin, I’ve raced around to find your answer, and I’m afraid you aren’t going to like it. I can now scientifically confirm to you that a fancy set of tail lights will, in fact, get you more tail.

Hot Girl, CarA company fittingly called Hiscox (!) helps us end your argument. Not only do the gals get revved up over a fancy car, Hiscox says, but they don’t even need to see your hot rod to get their engine fluid flowing. Just the sound of your motor running is enough to send them into overdrive.

Hiscox, which gets funnier every time you say it, had people listen to the sounds of luxury cars like Lamborghinis while measuring their physiological levels of arousal. (Your own Dr. Smartass measured his physiological level of arousal once, by the way. It was a humbling experience.) The researchers then did the same thing with the sounds of more modest models like the VW Polo. Sure enough, the levels of lust shot through the roof with the expensive editions and stayed low with the Polo.

Hot Girl, CarBut listen up, ladies: The magic works both ways. Yes, even the men’s pistons were popping from the sounds of Lady Lamborghini. As the researchers put it, “Is your emergency brake on, or are you just happy to see me?”

So, your prescription from Dr. Smartass: Grab a date, go test drive a fancy car, and see what happens. Just make sure you put some plastic down on the seats, or all the pleasurable sounds in the world won’t make up for the bill the dealer will hand you.


Being a geek may be part of your duty,
But that doesn’t mean you can’t still score some booty.
Take my advice and when shove comes to push,
At the end of the day, you’ll be grabbing a tush.

Until next time,

Dr. Smartass

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