Rants In Our Pants

The True Tale of Microsoft Bing

Microsoft has officially revealed its rebranded search engine, “Bing.” The (largely fabricated) story behind the name, however, has remained hidden — until now.

By (@JRRaphael)

June 1, 2009

Microsoft BingThe folks out at Redmond have been in a lurch;
Nothing they tried could revive their Live Search.
From branding to bribing and now a new name,
Few moves still remain in this ill-fated game.

“Bing,” MS hoped, would deliver a mend.
Instead, all it did was remind us of “Friends.”
From where, you might ask, does this cutesy name hail?
The story, you see, is quite the fun tale.

Steve Ballmer, of course, wants one hell of a year.
Success with Live Search would bring holiday cheer.
He pittered and pattered and paced all about;
But the right revised name just wouldn’t come out.

Tech VerseThen, it hit him — a burst, a bright flash.
The season itself could help make the splash.
With time running short, a quick find was a must.
Steve turned to the place that he knew he could trust.

But where, oh pray tell, could he find such a clue?
Not Live, of course — not even Yahoo.
Steve Ballmer, dear friend, is no simple dope.
When he needs the best, he knows how to cope.

“Google,” he typed, in his browser bar.
The answer popped up, though slightly bizarre.
He’d entered “White Christmas,” feeling forlorn.
“Bing Crosby” came back, and thus Live was reborn.

The moral for us is nothing to fear.
The lesson today is really quite clear.
Call it Live, call it Bing; the name is in flux.
The truth, though, is still: MS search kinda sucks.

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