Rants In Our Pants

7 Tweets That Should Have Never Been Sent

Messages like these make you wish Twitter had a built-in dipshit filter.

By (@JRRaphael)

September 11, 2009

Angry Twitter BirdTwitter can be a great tool when it comes to sharing interesting information. It can also, however, be a great way for total tools to broadcast godawful garbage.

Here are seven cringe-worthy gems that caught our eyes this afternoon. Some are worse than others, but as far as we’re concerned, they’re all deserving of the “really wish you hadn’t sent this” designation.

@zgoff: My meds are torturing me. They make me extremely horny, but leave me completely impotent. It destroys my tweet filter too… apparently.

You forgot one other downer in your list: the fact that this message will forever be associated with your name (Zachary Goff) in Google searches worldwide. Good luck on that next job hunt or second date, buddy boy.

@christine_cs: Hate to sound conceited, but if I were having a party, I’d put myself at the top of the invites. Clearly my charisma is lost on the young.

Hopefully your humility isn’t lost on them, too. Oh, hey — if you’re looking for something to do tonight, you should give our pal Zach Goff a ring. We hear his schedule’s wide open.

@GinaSkyy: Retweet Get a Google Voice invite on eBay for $2.99 http://bit.ly/e3TFT Get 1 free invite every 2 you buy! Get one for a buddyPlease RT

Pssst… Gina. Google Voice invites are already free and widely available. But thanks for sending this message 2,942 times.

@RiveraMarcos: I have to pee so bad, but if I leave class for 2 mins Ill miss out on sooo much!! Hang in there bladder of mine!

You certainly wouldn’t want to miss out on important lecture material. Now, back to your tweeting.

@dga1077: Just put another apple sticker under my desk… its covered with them. Just because.

This kind of extreme company devotion is perfectly healthy and normal. Really.

@HatschePetsu: now i am going to take a shower and a shave,.. i love shaved balls, not other ones, just mine

You know what we’d love? If you’d never, ever discuss this publicly again.

@SeanMoffitt: Seems like my destiny is to find great new interesting content, personalities, events and opportunities

Right. FYI, this tweet was not one of those things.

@JCTrick: Now I’m stuck at work thinking about porn. I still haven’t bought any new porn.

Wait a minute… I think this guy works in my office. Dan, did you change your Twitter name?

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