Rants In Our Pants

The Trouble with Tech Support

Sick of always getting stuck on hold when you call tech support? Some researchers say they’ve figured out the fix, and it’s far simpler than you might expect.

By (@jr_raphael)

August 27, 2009

Tech SupportCalling tech support always sucks — but now, researchers from Kuwait University think they’ve found the key to making the process a little less painful.

A study being published in the International Journal of Engineering Systems Modeling and Simulation (what, you don’t subscribe to that?) claims call centers could be significantly improved by adding a single person to their staffs. That’s right — just one extra person to make your hold-time headaches melt away.

From an analysis of the study:

“The team has now used their model to optimize the number of support technicians needed at the company while minimizing total cost by taking into account the idle time of employees, while they have computer problems addressed and the wages of the technicians. The simulation results indicated that the total cost can be reduced significantly by just hiring one more technician, which cuts waiting time from three and a half hours to just half an hour.”

Adding two extra staff members, the researchers say, would cut the average hold time from 3.5 hours all the way down to 10 minutes.

“Of course, this is all assuming the representatives actually speak English, which we know is never the case,” one of the researchers should have mentioned.

“Also, they’d have to possess mental abilities greater than a tub of butter,” he probably should have added.

In related news, scientists now believe adding one extra woman to an average sexual encounter could reduce its duration by as much as 80 percent.






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Comments

  • vanshee

    first comment :D

    • weaselsqueezer

      Huh?

  • ljj101

    “cuts waiting time from three and a half hours”

    Does anyone really have the temperament required to spend that long listening to muzak while being given assurances of their importance by a disembodied voice?

    Especially when, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise, you know that the best you can hope for is to be transferred to a local preschool – no you won't get a solution but they'll probably speak your language and may not insult you.

  • weaselsqueezer

    I am also being verrry curious..who trains these brainless goons?

  • brainless goon

    these brainless goons assume you can follow written instructions (how stupid is that?) and even that you know what the hell you purchased and how to use it! (“what, I need to know how to drive to actually use a car? what a crappy car support you are!”)

  • brainless goon

    these brainless goons assume you can follow written instructions (how stupid is that?) and even that you know what the hell you purchased and how to use it! (“what, I need to know how to drive to actually use a car? what a crappy car support you are!”)