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Christ Renews eSarcasm Endorsement

eSarcasm is pleased to announce the renewed endorsement of Jesus Christ for the year 2010 A.D. “We feel like our business has been resurrected,” the site’s founders say.

By (@eSarcasm)

January 1, 2010

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Jesus Christ EndorsementFollowing His recent endorsement of A Course in Miracles, Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour to hundreds of millions of the faithful, has announced plans to renew his endorsement of eSarcasm, the World’s Most Heavenly Web Site ™. Christ’s extended endorsement is expected to be formally revealed at an upcoming media event at The Last Supper Club in San Francisco.

“I figured, what the hell?” said the King of Kings in a statement issued this morning via a spokesangel. “I find many of the stories on that site divinely amusing.”

Christ said he’s been approached countless times over the last 2000 years by people seeking the heavenly stamp of approval: the Vatican, NFL franchises, thousands of political candidates, and Mel Gibson. But until last fall, when the Messiah endorsed the cheesy Course in Miracles “mind training system,” He had remained silent.

“I admit, I was afraid of getting overexposed. I mean, look at Tiger Woods. But I’ve been waiting for what feels like an eternity to start getting my name out there again. For Chri… er, sorry, my sake — it’s about damned time.”

eSarcasm coquettish haberdasher co-creator Dan Tynan calls the endorsement a spirit-lifting win.

“Six months ago, JC didn’t know us from Adam,” Tynan says. “To have the Prince of Peace backing our humble site now is a testament to how far we’ve come.”

“Mr. Christ has really been a savior,” adds co-co-creator JR Raphael. “After some tough times, we feel like our business has been resurrected.”

To commemorate the endorsement, eSarcasm will phase in the slogan “What Would Jesus Do? He’d Visit eSarcasm!” The phrase will appear on an upcoming line of custom-branded women’s intimate apparel to be sold at finer department stores sporadic novelty shops nationwide. A 30-city “Your Site, Your Savior” tour is also being planned for early spring.

What Would Jesus Do Thong

(Yes, we know. We’re going to burn in hell for a long, long time.)

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