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To Follow or Not to Follow: A Twitter Guide

Having trouble separating the tweeps from the creeps? Let our scrupulously researched, deeply thoughtful decision guide do the thinking for you.

By (@tynanwrites)

December 31, 2009

twitter_bird_deadEvery day, dozens of times a day, we face the same decision: Should I follow that person on Twitter? And if I do, will they turn out to be the most annoying human being on the planet?

The answer isn’t always obvious. Make the wrong choice, and the next thing you know you’re being pelted with endless tweets about Julia Allison’s sex life or having the entire body of human knowledge sent to you piece by piece in bit.ly URLs. (@GuyKawasaki, please report to a white courtesy iPhone.)

Sure, you can unfollow people who annoy the piss out of you. But you’ll never get back that 3.4 seconds of your life you wasted reading “Wife fed the cat. I had Green Mtn. coffee and a Lenders bagel with Smart Balance Light Buttery Sauce.”

Why go through the hassle in the first place when you can let our Twitter guide make your decisions for you? We’ve scrupulously researched the key permutations of the Follow/Not Follow conundrum and laid them out in an easy-to-follow decision tree (below).

It’s fast, it’s easy, it’s free. And if you follow our instructions correctly, you’ll never have to read bad Haiku again.
eSarcasm-Twitter-Follow-Guide

RIP Amy Winehouse (1983 – 2011). We miss you. Ashton not so much.






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Comments

  • http://www.facebook.com/kruna Veljko Creston Krunic

    cool algorithm

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      thanx. it took us months to come up with it. we had to kidnap stephen hawking and force him to help us with the math.

  • http://occamsrazr.com Ike Pigott

    Dan… then why did you follow me?

    (and more importantly, why did I follow you?)

    Oh yeah… you left out “Is he funny enough that I can steal some cheesy pickup line from him that might enhance my chance to pick up chicks?”

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      @ike: so how's that working out for ya?

  • http://occamsrazr.com Ike Pigott

    Dan… then why did you follow me?

    (and more importantly, why did I follow you?)

    Oh yeah… you left out “Is he funny enough that I can steal some cheesy pickup line from him that might enhance my chance to pick up chicks?”

  • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

    @ike: so how's that working out for ya?