Rants In Our Pants

Twitter’s in the Shitter

What happens when our favorite microblog goes down? We resort to writing country songs like this one. (Feel free to stomp your feet and sing along.)

By (@tynanwrites)

August 8, 2009

twitter_bird_deadI’ve always been a loser
Never really had much luck
My girlfriend ran away last night
With my money and my truck

Went to tweet my heart out
To all my Facebook friends
But Twitter wasn’t working
Now I’m at my wit’s end

Twitter’s in the shitter and Facebook’s gone to hell
I’ve just had eggs for breakfast but there’s no one I can tell
I’ve got a lot to tweet about though I can barely spell
But Twitter’s in the shitter and Facebook’s gone to hell

I tried to find old Ashton
But his tweets weren’t coming through
Oprah’s feed — completely dead
Guy Kawasaki’s too

Demi once DM’d me
I saved it on my cell
Now without their status updates
My life’s a hollow shell

Twitter’s in the shitter and Facebook’s gone beserk
All because some guy from Georgia pissed off some Russian jerks
Now I may have to go sit down and do some actual work
Cuz Twitter’s in the shitter and Facebook’s gone beserk

[OK, now for a little “Foggy Mountain Breakdown” on dueling banjos. Hold your Deliverance jokes until the end, please.]

I don’t know what I did before
This social media craze
What I did most every night
Or how I spent my days

I used to have a social life
I taught my dog new tricks
Now I can’t go five minutes
Without my Twitter fix

Twitter’s in the shitter and I don’t know what to do
I’ve got 1200 followers; they follow me back too
Now we are all just sitting here without a thing to do
Cuz Twitter’s in the shitter, and we are all just screwed






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