TechSex

Smoke an E-Cig, Get a Woodie

Cancer, schmancer. Who cares about dying when you can lose weight and get a day-long erection?

By (@tynanwrites)

August 5, 2009

ecig8A Las Vegas company called E-Cig has announced two products designed to enhance your life through the magic of nicotine addiction. Now you can lose weight AND get a boner while getting your fix. Is science wonderful, or what?

But don’t listen to me. Let’s have the press release do the talking:

Those who already enjoy the convenience and great taste of electronic cigarettes can now take their smoking experience to the next level. E-Cig (E-Cig.com), a company that manufactures these amazing cigarette alternatives, announces the release of two new products that are sure to wow smokers and non-smokers alike.

Electronic cigarettes: Now available in Bay Rum, Butterscotch, and Ipepac.

One product called E-Rimonabant promises to help users lose weight and combat their smoking addiction. This electronic cigarette produces vaporable Rimonabant, an anorectic anti-obesity drug. As an inverse agonist for the cannabinoid receptor CBI, Rimonabant helps reduce appetite by creating a full or satisfied feeling.

Or you can avoid the hard-to-pronounce words, smoke a normal cigarette, and stay away from the Butter Brickle. Hey, it works for the French.

But this is the deal clincher:

Another innovative product that has recently come on the scene at E-Cig is called E-Cialis. This electronic cigarette helps improve sexual capacity for men who suffer with ED (erectile dysfunction). More than 50 percent of men between the ages of 40 and 70 years experience ED to some degree. E-Cialis provides a simple solution by enhancing sexual performance when smoking an electronic cigarette.

The only snag? Learning how to inhale through your penis. But if the Tantric Mystics can do it, so can you.

So does the thought of sucking on an electronic drug dispenser (cost: $44 to $153, plus nicotine cartridges) from some fly-by-night company that claims to be in Las Vegas but actually operates out of China give you pause? Visting the e-Cig Web site won’t do much to assuage your fears. Here’s the description:

It is the smallest electronic cigarette of the world. It is small and compact, however you will get amazed by the amount of smoking vapor when inhaling and the style of the unit itself. With such new E-Cig, you will be able to feel and smoke much more like a cigarette than any other products. It is the best electronic cigarette you can find actually in the world.

We are the original inventor and the manufacturer of this new smallest Electronic Cigarette of the world. E-Cig has been made aware that some manufacturers are copying our products illegally. We will reserve our right for such legal matter.

We will reserve our right to mock anybody who falls for such line of bullshit. Actually.






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Comments

  • http://ekocigs.com/ Frank

    Is this real?

  • cigelectronic

    I am very much excited about the new generation which they will be heading towards a better & safer future. Electronic Cigarette invention is the greatest yet to a positive alternative for smoking. I give thumbs up to Chinas Manufactures for making it all possible for out future. I purchased an Electronic cigarette myself and it works great. The best part about my experience is that I've quit traditional smoking for good. So I can freely suggest to those who are considering an effective alternative product that will aid them into quitting tobacco smoking. I purchased mine from [DELETED]

    [Editor’s note: Nice try, dude. You wouldn’t happen to be an e-cig affiliate, by any chance?]

  • Bram

    Please someone ban these idiots!!! As hard a time as ecigarettes are having being excepted as a smoking alternative, here we have these idiots doing the very same thing that is causing the ban. Putting unknown crap and making health claims!!

  • mike hanson

    Hey Everyone, there are many valid points being made here. I would just like to say that Traditional cigarettes have thousands of chemicals, and are way worse compared to electronic cigarettes. NOW are electronic cigarettes 100% safe?? of course not, but no body is claiming that it is. So lets allow adults to make their own decision, and if they wish to try e cigarettes [DELETED] let them, they will be be way better off in the long term, because e cigs have no SMOKE no odor, and they don't stain your teeth, and the water vapor is not the same as giving off second hand smoke. Please visit the Electronic cigarette association and read the valuable info that they have on there.

    [Editor’s note: The comment edited to remove the obvious commercial link inserted therein. Please, do you think we were born yesterday?]

  • Janice

    There are lots of manufacturers had launch electric cigarettes, well as what they say this kind of cigarette is pretty much safer than the ordinary one, well I guess t his is true but they cost too much money to buy well right now I will stick to the old cigarette I use besides there are lots of
    cheap cigarette cartons to choose form

  • http://www.pillzmart.com Vigrx plus

    nice blog,

  • Name

    If you believe in second hand smoke, you are a fool. A water soluble chemical passes through your lungs that are 98% water, and the smoke comes out more potent? That is laughable at best. That is junk science. We don't want to quit smoking regular cigarettes, because that would be one more right taken away by liberal tools. Wake up, shut up, and stay out of everyone else's business.

    If the pursuit of happiness wasn't meant to include the ingestion of mind altering substances such as alcohol, marijuana, and tobacco. Then it stands to reason that the constitution is not worth the hemp it was written on.

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      right on brother. damn those liberals and their laws taking away our drugs of choice.

      though we have to wonder… if the best name you could come up here with was “name,” maybe you should cut back a little, eh?

  • Name

    If you believe in second hand smoke, you are a fool. A water soluble chemical passes through your lungs that are 98% water, and the smoke comes out more potent? That is laughable at best. That is junk science. We don't want to quit smoking regular cigarettes, because that would be one more right taken away by liberal tools. Wake up, shut up, and stay out of everyone else's business.

    If the pursuit of happiness wasn't meant to include the ingestion of mind altering substances such as alcohol, marijuana, and tobacco. Then it stands to reason that the constitution is not worth the hemp it was written on.

  • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

    right on brother. damn those liberals and their laws taking away our drugs of choice.

    though we have to wonder… if the best name you could come up here with was “name,” maybe you should cut back a little, eh?

  • Cat

    funny. I used to smoke and now I want to take better care of my body. It was one of the harder things to do in life to quit smoking cigarettes. My husband smokes (alot) and I have friends that smoke… it kindof sucks that I worked so hard to quit (for good reasons) and I am tempted daily by others' addictions. I would like to “smoke vapor” with no nicotine, and if vapor is an alternative delivery for an appetite suppressant then great! What's the difference of buying diet pills in the store? I want to “fake smoke” with my hubby and friends who smoke, and smirk at them, knowing that I am actually taking care of my body while doing it!

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      it's especially fun to fake smoke after having fake sex. or so we hear.

      • Cat

        actually I got a vapor no-nicotine cig, like I said i would do… it was OK… but in my opinion…. well, even with no nicotine… something in the vape gave me a headache or just kindof made me feel bad. I think the chemical for weightloss in the vapor cig is under scrutiny… couldn't find it available anywhere – and now, i don't care, since i don't like to vape. you're funny.

  • mary

    I have an e-cig that has no nicotine, and uses vegetable glycerin instead of propylene glycol to provide the “smoke.” For the first time in fifteen years, I have been able to quit smoking regular cigarettes. I only use the e-cig a few times a day. Just to get me through the really rough spots like after meals, around other smokers, at the bar, etc. I fully expect to be off the e-cig in a month or two. Not all of them may be safe, but I’m certain it’s better than smoking. It’s not for everybody, but it worked for me when patches, gum, and pills failed.

  • http://electrictroniccigarettes.com/ electrictronic cigarettes

    Wow these seem like really cool products! Moreover what more to expect when you can keep trim and slim.

    • http://esarcasm.com dantynan

      unfortunately, they also make you almost completely illiterate — for example, unable to spell words like ‘electronic’.

  • http://electrictroniccigarettes.com/ electrictronic cigarettes

    Wow these seem like really cool products! Moreover what more to expect when you can keep trim and slim.