Smoke an E-Cig, Get a Woodie

Cancer, schmancer. Who cares about dying when you can lose weight and get a day-long erection?

By (@tynanwrites)

August 5, 2009

ecig8A Las Vegas company called E-Cig has announced two products designed to enhance your life through the magic of nicotine addiction. Now you can lose weight AND get a boner while getting your fix. Is science wonderful, or what?

But don’t listen to me. Let’s have the press release do the talking:

Those who already enjoy the convenience and great taste of electronic cigarettes can now take their smoking experience to the next level. E-Cig (, a company that manufactures these amazing cigarette alternatives, announces the release of two new products that are sure to wow smokers and non-smokers alike.

Electronic cigarettes: Now available in Bay Rum, Butterscotch, and Ipepac.

One product called E-Rimonabant promises to help users lose weight and combat their smoking addiction. This electronic cigarette produces vaporable Rimonabant, an anorectic anti-obesity drug. As an inverse agonist for the cannabinoid receptor CBI, Rimonabant helps reduce appetite by creating a full or satisfied feeling.

Or you can avoid the hard-to-pronounce words, smoke a normal cigarette, and stay away from the Butter Brickle. Hey, it works for the French.

But this is the deal clincher:

Another innovative product that has recently come on the scene at E-Cig is called E-Cialis. This electronic cigarette helps improve sexual capacity for men who suffer with ED (erectile dysfunction). More than 50 percent of men between the ages of 40 and 70 years experience ED to some degree. E-Cialis provides a simple solution by enhancing sexual performance when smoking an electronic cigarette.

The only snag? Learning how to inhale through your penis. But if the Tantric Mystics can do it, so can you.

So does the thought of sucking on an electronic drug dispenser (cost: $44 to $153, plus nicotine cartridges) from some fly-by-night company that claims to be in Las Vegas but actually operates out of China give you pause? Visting the e-Cig Web site won’t do much to assuage your fears. Here’s the description:

It is the smallest electronic cigarette of the world. It is small and compact, however you will get amazed by the amount of smoking vapor when inhaling and the style of the unit itself. With such new E-Cig, you will be able to feel and smoke much more like a cigarette than any other products. It is the best electronic cigarette you can find actually in the world.

We are the original inventor and the manufacturer of this new smallest Electronic Cigarette of the world. E-Cig has been made aware that some manufacturers are copying our products illegally. We will reserve our right for such legal matter.

We will reserve our right to mock anybody who falls for such line of bullshit. Actually.

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