Alternate Reality

EXCLUSIVE: The Microsoft Smartwatch — Revealed!

It’s true: Microsoft is building its own smartwatch — and only eSarcasm has an early look at the device’s groundbreaking UI.

By (@JRRaphael)

April 16, 2013

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Well, so much for secrets.

Word got out this week that Microsoft — like Google, Apple, Nabisco, and Durex — is building its own smartwatch. Reports around the Web quote unnamed sources as saying the product is under intense testing at Microsoft’s R&D labs.

We here at eSarcasm can tell you: It’s true. In fact, we’ve been using the Microsoft Smartwatch ourselves for several weeks and are excited to bring you the very first image of the eagerly anticipated indifferently regarded new product.

Now, remember, this is only a prototype — but based on our time with the device, we’re confident it’ll be almost as popular as Windows 8.*

Microsoft Smartwatch

* That is to say, slightly less popular than gonorrhea.

Get fresh geek humor delivered daily: RSS | E-Mail | Twitter


  • That’s sad your poking fun at Microsoft they have done some amazing thins for this industry!

    • tracy lawrence

      You are totally right, Microsoft has done some pretty amazing things for the Computer Industry

      • dar
      • TJ Benson

        Or have they held it back? I’m no guru on the subject, but what about linux? Maybe it would have become the dominant os and achieved the same as windows, only more because there might have been a lot of competition. Again, I haven’t studied any of this so i could be wrong

    • Daffy Duck

      Can you give examples how Microsoft has benefitted society?

      • Ernie

        It facilitated the creation of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

  • van hill

    Micro who??

  • Luis smith

    Woow can wait to have it

  • ron

    Microsoft blue forever

  • ? yeah right

    what a dumb ass get a life report on something of value u sound like typical faggot

  • sanjeev kumar


  • Rush-i-d

    Blue screen from the start that must be rubish you fools what an advertising for idiots

  • real truth

    I like the blue screen but still not sure how it gonna help the world except be nothing more than a fashion peice that acts up when u think u need it the most honestly wat can it do that my phone cant sorry dont see the excitement let me know when it can make me some nachos and grab me a beer