Rants In Our Pants

Word of the Year for 2012: Twatwaffle

Forget hashtag, GIF, YOLO, or any other pretenders. 2012 was clearly the year of the twatwaffle.

By (@tynanwrites)

January 8, 2013


For the Oxford American Dictionary, 2012’s word of the year is “GIF.” For the American Dialect Society, it’s “hashtag.” The word nerds at Dictionary.com went with “bluster," while their lexicographical rivals at Merriam-Webster picked two: “socialism” and “capitalism.” (What else would you expect from a dictionary with two names?)

Now it’s our turn. Our favorite word for 2012 is Twatwaffle. This is, as all smart people know, a person who is both extremely annoying and highly inconsequential in the greater scheme of things. (Our favorite example: Blogger Ken “Popehat White’s description of The Oatmeal-hating attorney Charles Carreon as a “vexatious twatwaffle.”) It’s also a delicious breakfast treat; at eSarcasm we start every day by digging into a heaping stack of twatwaffles.

What are some of our other favorite words from 2012? Glad you asked. Here they are in alpha order.

Kardashian: A woman of easy virtue; see also ho, skank, and spunkbucket. “Yo man, who was that Kardashian I saw you with last night? She’s laid more pipe than Exxon.”

Malarkey: Archaic term for ‘bullshit,’ used only by people born before the age of electricity. “Those flibbertigibbits may think they’re the bee’s knees but they’re full of malarkey, by gum.”


Maroneying: 1. The act of inserting photos of an unimpressed McKayla Maroney into every goddamned photo on the Internet. 2. The act of inserting your penis into an unimpressed McKayla Malroney, resulting in a prison term of up to 15 years.

McCurate: To republish someone else’s blog posts while simultaneously peeing all over them.

Sharingfreunde: Taking cruel pleasure in another person’s brain-dead Facebook gaffe; see Randi Zuckerberg.*

Rashtag: A way of indicating on Twitter that someone is carrying a sexually transmitted disease; most often employed after encounters with a Kardashian. See also #penicillin #burningsensation #milkydischarge

Vajayjay: Female sexual organ capable of magically rejecting sperm not endorsed by a deity. See also rape (legitimate).

VaJay-Z: Beyonce’s vajayjay.

YOYOBOCLAL: A variation on YOLO (you only live once), it stands for You’re Only Young Once, But Obnoxiousness Can Last A Lifetime. See also Every 13 year old with a Tumblr account.

[*] Props to @IsCool for that one

Twatwaffle image courtesy of the Douche Blog. Where else?

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