Alternate Reality

Google’s New Goggles Reveal More Than You Think

Google’s “Project Glass” high-tech specs augment reality in ways even Google won’t talk about. Here’s the real story behind them. An eSarcasm original.

By (@tynanwrites)

April 5, 2012

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Sometimes it seems those brainiacs at Google do things just to prove they really are smarter than the rest of us. Today’s example: “Project Glass,” the new augmented reality technology Google has been secretly working on for two years.

Put on these high-tech specs and a whole new world of data opens up to you. Google finally came out of the closet and released a video that’s equal parts Futurama and Minority Report showing what life might look like to Ubergeeks in Goggles:

But what that video won’t show you is all the other things those Google specs can do. That’s where we come in. Here are some images captured before donning the Google Goggles, and after. Trust us, you’ll be amazed.

1. X-ray specs

Come on. You’re a Google engineer who’s never touched a member of the opposite sex. What’s the first thing you’re going to invent?

2. Food augmentation

Tired of yet another McFatty burger? Turn it into a mouth watering filet with a flick of a switch.

3. Political reform

We understand you can achieve pretty much the same effect by getting really stoned and squinting.

4. Billionaire enhancement

We’re not sure what went wrong here; that second image is supposed to be of Steve Jobs. Must be a bug.

5. Model behavior

Even Google Goggles can’t improve on perfection. The difference here is when you’re wearing them she’ll actually talk to you instead of turning away in disgust.

6. We can dream, can’t we?

One is a Web news leviathan valued at $315 million. The other is an online snarkathon worth approximately $315. The key difference: We only steal some of our stories from other sites.






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Comments

  • Arcticwolf1966

    The only feature I do not like is the auto-censure you displayed in the first set of pictures

  • http://empoprise-bi.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft (Empoprises)

    Which one of you gets to play Arianna? And does the other one get stuck playing Arrington?

  • http://www.speed-sexting.com/ Free Sexting App

    #5 is awsome!