Alternate Reality

Rush Limbaugh Apologizes for Almost Apologizing

The popular talk radio host suffered a close call with a near-apology experience yesterday, but escaped unscathed. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

March 4, 2012

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh suffered a near-apology experience (NAE) yesterday, but veered off at the last possible moment before any real damage could occur.

The rotund radio host has been under fire for comments he directed at Georgetown Law Student Sandra Fluke, following Fluke’s testimony before Congress regarding the cost of birth control for college students.

Limbaugh called Fluke a "slut" and a "prostitute," then asked her to record her sexual activities and "post the videos online so we can all watch." After several sponsors pulled support for his radio show, Limbaugh issued a statement via his site apologizing to Fluke for his "insulting word choices."

In an email to eSarcasm, Limbaugh explained that instead of "slut" he really should have used the words "spunk-soaked hosebeast," and that instead of "prostitute" he really meant "Craigslist adult services professional."

He added, however, that the offer about the video still stands.

Limbaugh blamed a suspicious delivery he received last week for the gaffe. The package was originally suspected to be a letter bomb, but turned out to be a delivery from an online pharmacy based in the Caymans.

Limbaugh apologized to his listeners for almost admitting he was wrong, and vowed it would never happen again.

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