Rants In Our Pants

When Google’s Personalized Search Gets a Little Too Personal

Google’s Search Plus Your World reveals a lot about those crack-smoking, STD-riddled whoremongers otherwise known as your Google+ buddies. An eSarcasm exclusive report.

By (@tynanwrites)

February 6, 2012

When Google unveiled its Search Plus Your World (SPYW) feature last month, it added something special to your search results. Along with the usual ads and SEO-driven tripe, SPYW displays relevant content that’s been shared by your buddies on Google+

Knowing that such a feature is ripe for abuse – especially by certain aging juveniles who spend too much time online – Google pre-emptively censored SPYW.

The list of words Google excludes from personalized search results would satisfy even the most potty-mouthed teen.  Porn, slut, whore, suck, lick, dick, stripper, poledancer, f***buddy, dickwad, dickweed, asswipe, knobgobbler, tittylicker – all are too hot for SPYW to handle.

After that, though, Google’s censors must have taken a well deserved nap. Because the list of naughty terms they failed to censor is even more impressive.

It turns out some of the best-known Web 2.x celebs are are drunk, naked, suffering from various STDs and smoking crack with Craigslist Ho’s. Don’t believe us? Check out the following undoctored, quasi-redacted search results and see for yourself:

Don’t blame yourself Bob, it happens to the best of us. And think what a relief it will be to your wife.

Jeff: Well, that explains the last five years’ worth of blog rants. 

Tim, Tim, Tim.  Is this really what you had in mind when you invented Web 2.0?

See what happens when you hang out with Craigslist Ho’s?

Jason, what you do on your own time is your business. Still, dressing in drag and posting a video of hitting the pipe? Probably not the best idea.

Don’t worry, Craig, it could be a lot worse.

See what we mean?






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Comments

  • baddjuju

    Google’s personalized search sucks. Was looking for guitar tabs related to a old school funk song and got results by person that I follow on Google Plus. Was searching for Look A Py Py guitar tabs by the Meters and got something completely not related to what I was looking for.

    My search query: Look A Py Py Guitar Tab

    This page showed up that was posted by a spammy person that I follow on Google+

    Google+ Tip – Photos of You and Photo Tagging – First, take a look 

    The reason why Google thinks I want to see this irrelevant post is because this was in the page’s content.

    http://www.google.com/support/profiles/bin?/static.py?page=guide.cs&guide=?&answer=1308551.

    The letters PY were in the long URL posted on the page and because the page title had the letters PY were encoded in the URL.

    So the question arises? Why does Google think that I want to see this person’s post for a keyword phrase that has nothing to do with what I was looking for? Here are my thoughts.

    1.My relationship with the person that posts content on Google plus is strictly online. I only follow her posts and sometimes make comments.

    2. She posts about once every five minutes. So her frequency of posting directly influences how Google display’s search results to people that follow her. Now I am beggining to understand why she posts about every five minutes. Just checked her status and my wall is full of her posts. Also her posts are timed 5 minutes apart.