Alternate Reality

eSarcasm to Join Anti-SOPA Blackout

On January 18, eSarcasm will go dark for 12 hours to protest SOPA and PIPA, two anti-piracy laws we don’t fully understand but know are really bad. Are we cool, or what?

By (@tynanwrites)

January 16, 2012

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

eSarcasm has announced it is joining with its comrades Reddit and Wikipedia to combat the evils of Internet censorship. On Wednesday, January 18, this Web site will go dark for 12 hours to protest SOPA and PIPA, two proposed laws we don’t really understand but know are bad because everyone we know says so.

eSarcasm would like to emphasize this blackout is not the result of failing to pay its cable internet bill. If anyone from Time Warner is reading this, it would like them to know it will have the money as soon as its tax refund check clears.

Why are we doing this? Because the Internet is a living, breathing organism. It has a heart and a soul. It has fingers and toes and that thing that dangles from the roof of our mouths like a tiny little punching bag.

It also has 10 million assholes, most of whom look like this:

These are the kinds of people who support SOPA. Whose side would you rather be on?

If SOPA passes, the InterWebs as we know them would cease to exist. Websites would disappear virtually overnight. Google would be forced to merge with Facebook and become Goobook. Downloading free Internet porn from Torrent sites would become just a distant wistful memory.

Still, we don’t understand the opposition to PIPA. She is one unbelievably fine-looking woman. Damn.

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