Alternate Reality

The Shocking Truth About Sesame Street Porn

Think that porn showing up on Sesame Street’s YouTube channel was an accident? Think again. Sesame Street is really Sexame Street. An eSarcasm exclusive.

By (@tynanwrites)

October 17, 2011

The story you're about to read is not (entirely) true. It is, however, more accurate than most things on network television.

Officials at the Children’s Television Workshop have blamed "hackers" for inserting pornographic videos into Sesame Street’s YouTube channel last weekend. However, eSarcasm has uncovered a darker truth about this beloved children’s television program.

Last year’s sex scandal involving Katy Perry and Elmo was only the tip of a much larger, highly lubricated iceberg, eSarcasm has learned.

As the following images reveal, Muppet porn has been part of the 42-year-old show since its earliest days. As one cast member who declined to be identified noted, "Hey, if you walked around all day with someone else’s hand up your patootie, you might get a little randy too."

Here are just a few examples of what you’ll really find when you get to Sesame Street.

1. In this illustrated guide (right), Elmo and Grover show kids how to play "Shower Time at San Quentin." ‘Elmo like it when Mr. Grover stick da hand aallllllllllll da way up.’

Source: Photobucket

2. Left: Mr. Snuffleupagass shows Miss Marie his "special talent." Weeks later they were found in a Ensenada hotel room after a cocaine- and alcohol-fueled sex binge.

Source: Muppet Wikia

3. Miss Piggy flashes us some bacon on the right. Yes, those are real — or as real as tits made from wire, felt, and styrofoam generally get.

Source: Grouchy Old Cripple in Atlanta

4. Though a TV rival, Barney was a frequent guest at Sesame Street’s video sex parties (left). Rumor has it he’s hung like a brontosaurus.

Source: Pornzio (definitely not safe for work)

5. Right: Cookie Monster or Nookie Monster? You decide.

Source: CobWebs in the Wine Cellar

6. Though Bert and Ernie’s homosexual leanings are well known (left), it’s never really been clear who was a bottom and who was a top. But no more. In this home-made video, Bert shows Ernie the value of giving while also receiving. (It gets worse.)

Source: CollegeHumor

7. Today’s episode has been brought to you by the number 69 and the letters B and J.

Source: eBaum’s World (where else?)

eSarcasm would like to apologize to Muppets fans everywhere. We just couldn’t help ourselves.






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Comments

  • LOL!

    Someone MUST upload the original video!! Awesome lolz :P