Rants In Our Pants

EXCLUSIVE: 10 Things We Will Miss About Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs is handing over the reigns at Apple — probably for the last time. Our lives are now just a hollow shell. Here are 10 ways we’re going to miss him.

By (@tynanwrites)

August 25, 2011

Well it had to happen eventually. Steve Jobs has stepped down as CEO of Apple for the third, and presumably last, time.

Yes, he’ll still hold the title of Chairman, but the world won’t be the same without Steve Jobs as CEO. We know eSarcasm won’t be the same.

Here are 10 things we’re really going to miss:

1. Having our lives changed in miraculous ways every six months. And then changed again. And again.

2. His inimitable fashion sense. Who else could wear the same goddamned clothes to work every day for 20 years and get away with it? OK, maybe nurses, flight attendants, and firemen — but you know what we mean. For that alone he’s our hero.

3. His Reality Distortion Field Generator. Originally built from spare parts taken from a Lisa II in 1983, the RDFG can bend public opinion in virtually any direction. Now available in white!

4. The way he holds it — firm, but not too firm. And never ever touching the magic spot that makes us totally lose reception, if you get our drift.

5. Terseness.

6. His legions of devoted fanboys. Right about now John Gruber and MG Siegler are curled under their desks in fetal position, rocking back and forth and moaning.

7. The way he spanked the music, movie, and wireless industries until they were crying like little girls — but still begged for more.

8. Steve’s willingness to work with the severely handicapped (we’re talking about you, AT&T).

9. His extreme flexibility. Can you get into that position? Just looking at that picture on the right makes us want to crawl to our chiropractor’s office.

10. One more thing. That’s it, just the phrase "one more thing." We’ll never be able to hear those words again and not think of him.

Thanks Jobsy, for giving us so much to make fun of over the years. Also, for not suing us. You shall be missed.






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Comments

  • http://empoprise-bi.blogspot.com/ John E. Bredehoft (Empoprises)

    Re 6 – I don’t think Gruber and Siegler are rocking back and forth – that’s a Gates move, after all. Presumably they’re wearing clothes from 2 and holding it like 4.

  • http://twitter.com/DREGstudios Brandt Hardin

    Jobs
    is done but left his mark on every corner of wireless technology. It only leaves
    us asking who won the war between the two titans of modern computer technology?
    Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates / Apple vs. Microsoft– check out my rendering of an
    epic match-up of their cyborg selves on my artist’s blog at
    http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/08/end-of-era-steve-jobs.html

  • Kurone Shizuhi

    Actually. “One More Thing” is not only said by Steve Jobs. The first person that comes into my mind when I see that, is Jackie Chan’s Uncle, in an animation that I used to watch when I was younger.

  • Kurone Shizuhi

    Actually. “One More Thing” is not only said by Steve Jobs. The first person that comes into my mind when I see that, is Jackie Chan’s Uncle, in an animation that I used to watch when I was younger.

  • Anonymous

    *reins

    He is ending his reign over Apple, however he is handing over the reins.

  • Anonymous

    *reins

    He is ending his reign over Apple, however he is handing over the reins.