Yahoo to Hire WALL-E as New CEO, Analysts Say
With rumors swirling about Yahoo’s future, analysts now believe the company is preparing to unveil a major shakeup: the hiring of trash-compacting robot WALL-E as its new chief executive.
It’s a big week for Yahoo, with the company’s quarterly earnings report set to take place Tuesday and murmurs of a possible Microsoft deal growing louder by the hour. Now, analysts believe the search company is also working on a major shakeup that could leave current CEO Carol Bartz out of a job.
WALL-E sighted outside of Yahoo's headquarters last week; change said to be “imminent”
Fictional robot WALL-E is being closely considered for Yahoo’s chief executive position, numerous sources suggest. The trash-compacting creature evidently caught the company’s eye when he appeared in the 2008 Pixar film bearing his name. Yahoo’s board of directors has reportedly been tracking him ever since, and with Bartz having now passed her six-month mark on the job, insiders suspect a change could be imminent.
“They wanted WALL-E right after [previous CEO Jerry] Yang,” says Shanda Lear, an analyst with Smartles, Smeckford, and Higgenbortz. “But they felt they first needed a more traditional candidate to hold the position for several months in order to justify such an unconventional move.”
The robot’s low salary requirements are said to be a driving factor in his possible appointment. Yahoo, recent estimates suggest, has only approximately $37.64 remaining in its corporate account. As such, analysts believe the odds of any accomplished and qualified CEO accepting an offer are becoming increasingly unlikely.
“The board simply isn’t happy with the progress under Bartz so far, and every possible replacement aside from WALL-E wants more than $37.64 as an annual salary,” Lear points out.
Also said to have impressed Yahoo’s board are WALL-E’s experience cleaning up destroyed planets and his tendency to make cute-sounding robot noises.
Bartz was not immediately for comment. Yang, spotted eating a jelly sandwich in a neighborhood park, appeared surprised by the speculation. “Neat,” he said, sipping from his juice box. “I’d still get to be ‘Chief Yahoo,’ right?”
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